1) So let me make some predictions here. I’m saying there’s a pattern, so, put up or shut up time for me.
2) Mr. Montes-Bradley once told me you’re only as good as your last prediction. So, I took this seriously and figured out the pattern.
3) Democrats will conveniently ignore/forget the FBI already spiked the ball on the allegations and added them to his background check file. Granted they’re already doing this, but expect to see it displayed more prominently as they know their followers have goldfish memories
4) The predictions are predicated on the belief that the Democrats are doing this to put on a show for their voters/subscribers/audience, btw
5) Once it becomes clear the FBI isn’t investigating, the narrative will take a hard shift into attacking Wray, Sessions, and Trump for being sexist and ignoring ‘serious allegations.’
6) There will be no libel lawsuits. They will scream, rant, piss, moan and make all kinds of hints and innuendo, the more freewheeling groups like the Women’s March will outright call Kavanaugh a rapist.
7) More opeds will be pushed about Kavanaugh making the Supreme Court ‘decidedly anti-woman’ and the word ‘illegitimate’ will be abused and made to squeal like a piggy.
8) The women of the Supreme Court will be given a WIDE berth. WIIIIIIIIDE. Expect Ginsburg’s earlier statement lamenting the politicization of the confirmation process to be the only peep we hear.
9) After this, serious resistance to Kavanaugh’s confirmation will crumble. The Democrats have successfully turned him into a boogeyman, and will use impeaching him, Gorsuch, and every other ‘sexist’ on the SCOTUS as their new campaign slogan.
10) Their public plan will be such: They will claim that by retaking the House and Senate, they can then impeach both Gorsuch and Kavanaugh as being illegitimate.
11) Then, with control of the Senate, they can ‘Garland’ every new appointee Trump puts forwards. This makes the Senate a 4-3 Liberal/Conservative split. THAT is why they need their justices squeaky clean and free of fresh controversy.
12) What they will not realize though, and this is where I’m ending official predictions and going back to my spitballing... is that they just walked into a fucking Batman Gambit.
Again.
Again.
13) Late at night, in the oval office, with a fridge full of Diet Coke off to the side with a fresh faced intern waiting anxiously to deliver its cold diety goodness, Trump sat at the couch with Grassley, McConnell, Hatch, and Cornyn, the four Senate Horsemen of the apocalypse.
14) “But boss,” Hatch said sounding like an old-timey mobster, “ya know whoevers ya put out there, the Dems will have some dame with an accusation ready.”
15) “Darn tootin’” McConnell nodded, his Kentucky bluegrass twang thick. “Them there lib’rals are gettin’ pretty antsy ‘bout this one.”
16) “Yo, M-Dawg, fucking relax, I got this,” the Orange Gangsta, the OG, stated authoritatively. “And intern, DC me.” The intern, perking up at the acknowledgement, rushed a diet coke over with a colorful bendy straw.
17) “You ALWAYS say you got this, OG, come on, let us in on it this time, McCain’s not around to fuck things up this time!” Cornyn pleaded with a whimper and puppy dog eyes.
18) “Aight, aight, twist my arm why don’tcha,” the OG grumbled, causing all four Senators to lean forwards at the edge of their seats.
19) “So, first off, we ain’t gonna announced WHO the fuck we pick,” the OG says in a low conspiratorial voice between heavy sips of his diet coke, the cold soda moving through the presidential seal-shaped bendy straw.
20) “Hold up now, we gotta announce someone,” Grassley said with a confused look on his face.
“Yeah. But first we’re gonna rumor 3 someone’s. Give those fucks at the Washington Jizzrag 3 something to bitch about for a week.”
“Yeah. But first we’re gonna rumor 3 someone’s. Give those fucks at the Washington Jizzrag 3 something to bitch about for a week.”
21) “Then, we’re gonna announce a date to say which of those three someone’s, and give that lardass Moore some time to get his chucklefucks together for a protest.”
“And then we convince ‘em to print signs for each possibility!” Cornyn says with his ears perking up.
“And then we convince ‘em to print signs for each possibility!” Cornyn says with his ears perking up.
22) “Bingo,” the OG said tipping his now empty can of coke at the senator. “Yo, Intern, DC me!”
“He has a name you know,” Grassley muttered under his breath.
“Yeah, the Fridge Intern, Intern for short, now shut the fuck up!” The OG lashed out, causing Grassley to flinch.
“He has a name you know,” Grassley muttered under his breath.
“Yeah, the Fridge Intern, Intern for short, now shut the fuck up!” The OG lashed out, causing Grassley to flinch.
23) “Ok, so, how’s we gonna catch ‘em boss?” Hatch says quickly, getting the conversation back on track.
“I got a guy for that. Find their sign pile, snap some photos, give ‘em to that Posobiec kid or something. Easy. Hard part’s what’s next.”
“I got a guy for that. Find their sign pile, snap some photos, give ‘em to that Posobiec kid or something. Easy. Hard part’s what’s next.”
24) The OG paused waited for one of the Senators to start asking what’s next before interrupting them with a loud slurp of diet coke. “Next is when the letter comes out.”
25) “Hold up now, what letter are ya yammering about?” McConnell asked with an eyebrow raised.
“Same letter she’s been sitting on since Gorsuch. As in the one my girl inside her office has been holding onto since Gorsuch. Gonna trot that out, convince her to rewrite and use it.”
“Same letter she’s been sitting on since Gorsuch. As in the one my girl inside her office has been holding onto since Gorsuch. Gonna trot that out, convince her to rewrite and use it.”
26) Cornyn starting to speak up, before the OG snapped at him again. “Motherfucker, do NOT interrupt when I’m laying out my fucking plan, you are worse than fucking Eric. Shut the fuck up or go home to mommy.”
27) “But my mom’s-“
“I KNOW she’s dead, she was a fucking dinosaur, sorry about that meteor b-t-dubs, now what have I told you about interrupting me during my strategerizing!”
The harsh rebuke left the Senators in a stunned silence, broken only by the diet coke being finished.
“I KNOW she’s dead, she was a fucking dinosaur, sorry about that meteor b-t-dubs, now what have I told you about interrupting me during my strategerizing!”
The harsh rebuke left the Senators in a stunned silence, broken only by the diet coke being finished.
28) “So my girl on the inside, she’s gonna convince Feinenstein to bring that old ass accusation out, after the hearings, cause those fucktards are still thinking they got the Senate on lock in November.” This earned derisive chuckles from even the intern.
29) “So what, we’re gonna disprove the allegations an embarrass them?” Grassley asked, brows furrowed in thought.
“Fuck no motherfucker, this is some he said thot said BOOOOLL-shit. Gonna go all Dracula and burn up the minute it sees the fucking sun.”
“Fuck no motherfucker, this is some he said thot said BOOOOLL-shit. Gonna go all Dracula and burn up the minute it sees the fucking sun.”
30) “So boss, whatcha want us mugs doin’ to the Dems while this is happening?” Orrin interjected.
“Whateva you WANT, muthafucka! Piss on that fire! Throw lighter fluid in and watch it get roasted like Hillary at a dinner! Open fucking season! Have some fun!”
“Whateva you WANT, muthafucka! Piss on that fire! Throw lighter fluid in and watch it get roasted like Hillary at a dinner! Open fucking season! Have some fun!”
31) “But what abou-“ Cornyn couldn’t finish the sentence before getting cut out by the OG loudly slapping his hand down on the couch and motioning for another diet coke.
32) “AINT NO whatabouts, biatch! She’ll poke her head up, say nope like its fucking groundhog day, then piss off back to the Stanford Thottery Academy for annoying ass feminists. Now get the fuck on up out of here.”
33) “Unless, ya know, you wanna stay for some TV. Silverback fight night on the Gorilla Channel.”
/end
/end
