UH OH A LITTLE THREAD!
On making sure you know what's in your food...
On making sure you know what's in your food...
This weekend I've been at the seaside with my family, for reasons which will become clear.
On Saturday night, I was enjoying my second fish supper of the day, since I'm a grown man and can eat as much (as many?) fish and chips as I like thanks very much.
I'd already added plenty of salt and about a gallon of vinegar to my meal because I'm not a psychopath, but I spied a little pile of salt on the dinner table next to me which I assumed my uncle Tim had spilled.
So I picked up a substantial pinch of the salt & hovered my hand over my plate. A couple of grains fell - barely any - before my sensible brain kicked in.
"Too much salt is bad for you, Ferdie," I thought as I gazed adoringly at my second and plate of fried beige food of the day. "And besides, that salt looked kinda grimey - there was probably some other table crap mixed in with it."
So I did what any sane, rational human would do and chucked the salt over my left shoulder, straight into the Devil's eye.
At that point my uncle Tim turned to me and quietly said, "Now don't panic, but this afternoon I was decanting your grandmother-" Oh, yeah, I should probably explain at this point why we're at the seaside en famille...
My grandma died a few years ago and for various reasons we didn't immediately scatter her ashes. So this weekend we've rented her old home by the sea and we're having a few days together before scattering her ashes.
So, back to the dinner table. Tim says, "I was decanting your grandmother at this table and I'm afraid I spilled a little bit of her ashes while I was doing it. I've spotted some here, so let me just clean her up."
I don't need to go much further with this, do I? You know where it's going
So, yeah. I tried to sprinkle my grandma on my fish and chips.
Did I actually sprinkle any of her on my dinner? I don't know. Maybe. Hopefully not. Hopefully I just chucked her over my shoulder like a cool chef.
Either way, she was great and she had a wicked sense of humour and she'd find it funny and today she's going into the sea. And she loved fish and chips.
