, 100 tweets, 37 min read Read on Twitter
Cohen's testimony starts in one minute...

Stay tuned for live tweets.
Shhhhh, Rep. Cummings is about to speak...

Gaveled in.

@MarkMeadows is already trying to stop the hearing, accusing the dems and Cohen of purposefully delaying the revealed testimony.

A repud complaining about the rules in a house committee. 🙄😄
Now @MarkMeadows is using cable TV as his evidence, of COURSE.

Motion to table the hearing voted down.

Oh FFS they're trying HARD.

This is ALREADY great.😄
A motion "to record the vote" is a delaying tactic, trying to reduce the time for Cohen's testimony.

I'm thinking this might go longer than eight hours. @RepCummings will keep these people here until tomorrow if he has to.
Now #GymJordan is saying they're not trying to stop the testimony, they just care about the RULES.

Because #TaxScam.

Cumming's opening statements, echoing Cohen's, and talking a bit about testimony from a flawed witness.
True that brother.👏👇
@RepCummings coming CORRECT.

We voted for it, and we're getting it.
And now we get the usual shenanigans from @Jim_Jordan.

I wonder if he knows there's no statute of limitations on sex crimes? We see you asshole.😡
Hey @Jim_Jordan? Obsess about the Clintons much?

Oops, #GymJordan is trying to motion after he yielded.

Not going to comment on Cohen's statement, we've all read it by now.

Stay tuned...😄
Omgomgomgomg they're televising the EVIDENCE!!

Also this:😡
#DraftDodgerInChief 😡😡😡
Is it wrong I just started a second pot of coffee? 😄
I LOVE that @MichaelCohen212 keeps calling @RudyGiuliani a "TV lawyer." 😄
I'm also gonna go on the record right now and say that Cohen looks genuinely remorseful.

@RepCummings is talking to Cohen about NO MORE LIES now.

Which of course means #DonnieTwoScoops is gonna get the HAMMER.
If that signature is really @DonaldJTrumpJr's, that means @realDonaldTrump ALREADY threw his son under the bus.
Also stood by while young men were being molested.
@Jim_Jordan we SEE YOU #GymJordan. 😡😡
Now #GymJordan is trying to hammer Cohen about unpaid taxes, to which Cohen fully copped to it, then embarrassed ol' #GymJordan.

The point here is for Jordan to try to destroy Cohen's credibility.
Next time #GymJordan might wanna prepare beforehand.

Buuuut, not giving him the materials is part of the plan.

Shrewd poltical moves from dems.
@DWStweets is up now, which is awesome given she was the DNC chair during the campaign.

This is a big moment here folks...
I just peed a little.😄
Here we have two things:
1) a lie from @RepMarkGreen about WHO actually restricted the topics of discussion.
2) yet another attempt to discredit Cohen.

#WeakSauce dude.
Uh oh, @MichaelCohen212 is naming names now.

We'll hear from every one of these people, this year, IF #DonnieTwoScoops lasts that long.
<informational break>
1) I may end up a bit behind here, recording purposes. (and a LOT of coffee 😄)
2) if anyone doesn't know, the members coordinate their questioning. Because the repuds are primarily hitting Cohen's credibility, it tells us they've got NOTHING ELSE.
Yet another redneck repud rep is trying to hit Cohen's credibility.

Cohen ain't having it.
This right here is why I know Cohen is actually remorseful.
Okay NOW it's getting good. #GymJordan is trying REAL hard to trip up Cohen, who ain't having it.
Re: Stormy Danilels payment.

Boom baby, boom.
A) @MarkMeadows is NOT a good judge of racism.

"I brought my black friend."

B) wanna shut down a conversation? Drop the "my dad survived the holocaust" card.
I'd just like to point out that two hours into this hearing, the dems have had questioners of color and white, women and men, of all walks of life.

The repuds?

All white dudes with THE SAME HAIRCUTS.

And a bunch of rednecks.
Here's a fun look into why #DonnieTwoScoops won't admit he has small hands, financially speaking.😄
More redneck repubs. Can somebody bring me a banjo?
@CongressmanHice (Jody that is) is saying there's an agenda to "get the president."

He's absolutely right.
Here we go with REAL talk from Cohen. These words are history, RIGHT NOW.
Part 2 of the above statement. This might be the most damning personal testimony so far...
<session break>
THAT'S how you shut #GymJordan down.

Not ONE question from repuds today about #DonnieTwoScoops.
This man deserves a standing ovation.
To anyone out there who might think the House isn't in top of #DonnieTwoScoops, let your fears rest. This is evidence of behind the scenes action we don't know about.
Here we see @MichaelCohen212 explaining how mobsters act when they're trying to NOT be implicated.
So this little gem is in display on the repud side.

How OLD are these idiots?
Now the conversation has devolved into Cohen's storage habits?
Very much agreed Mr. Cohen.🙄
Suddenly Pecker flipping makes sense. 🤔
Holy SHIT Cohen just told the House that Jay Sekulow MADE HIM LIE TO CONGRESS.

Somebody else will be up here and SOON.
More "gangster talk."
Over four hours in and this is the first time Cohen had been speechless. (I'm secretly hoping he was thinking about "small hands" 😂)
Mr. Cohen, can we discuss receipts? (Rep. Hill is going places imo)
Okay, there's some unpacking here.
1) this dude is NOT new to Congress.
2) Trump himself broke the "no politics when the POTUS is overseas" norm.
3) did he really end that statement with "do your time and shut up?" Because that is some SERIOUS gangster shit.
ProTip: when a member cedes time to another, that's ALWAYS pre-planned.

#GymJordan arranged this extra time for himself. Notice how he tries to squeeze in as much as he can every time.
I'd also like to point out that in this hearing it has become accepted fact the #DonnieTwoScoops threatened Cohen because of his testimony.

Cohen just implicated Jared & Ivanka's attorney in planned perjury as well.
Okay this guys is obsessed with boxes. Wth?
Maybe he's a box troll?🤔😄
Kinda odd how so many repuds have been talking about Cohen monetizing this isn't it?

Tells you a lot about what THEY'RE all about doesn't it?


We see you @Jim_Jordan.

We ALL know what you did.

This is how you find lies. This is how you hit trump.

This is how a president gets impeached.
Okay, recording phone conversations without consent is completely legal in NY, and is admissible in court. Wanna know why?

A point which Cohen just had to explain to a sitting member of Congress.

Ffs these repuds are stupid and ill informed.

Omg SO many people are going to be testifying soon.
Cohen is now doubting the credibility of unsubstantiated video tapes, and rumors about #DonnieTwoScoops.

This gives him MORE credibility.
These snappy answers are REALand GENUINE.
I'd be bereft as a human if I didn't share this intensely personal moment.

Dude was about to cry.
Rep. Miller is shocked, SHOCKED I tell you that the dems wanna talk about a felonious president.

Because border emergency and abortion she said.


We see you @Jim_Jordan.

We know what you did.

On a personal note, I'd like to say that this behavior from repuds is rxackty the way they have behaved since at least the Clinton administration.

It's draining to watch them behave in such a #PartyBeforeCountry way.

They gotta GO.

You get a subpoena, you get a subpoena, EVERYBODY'S gonna get a subpoena!!
Cohen is outright ignoring repud opening statements now.
Okay I had to take a break so I'll be a bit behind.

This shit is TAXING.
So now the repud arguement is that Cohen was not a PAID attorney?

That's already been established in court.

Law & order party says what?
Some words from Cohen about being coerced into lying to the FLOTUS.
This entire hearing is public record of course, but I'm damn glad Rep. Lawrence said this.
Yep, we've got a #GangsterPresident.
Does ANYTHING #DonnieTwoScoops does make sense but for criminal motives?
Okay I've read @MotherJones for years now and they are most assuredly NOT a conservative publication.
Here we get to the repud messaging portion of the hearing.

Methinks this guy is looking for a cabinet position.
Exactly that. Congress can do many things at once.

Well a DEM Congress can.
Another break.

I KNEW this would go late.

Is this thread useful?

Are y'all getting anything out of this or am I just pleasing myself?
Cohen's taking his seat. We've got about eight questioners left I think.

Back at it...
I'm not gonna lie, Rep. Cummings looks tired.

Hell I'm tired and I'm not even there.

Now the talk is about Cohen's truthfulness, and how this has pertained to today's hearing.

This is about foreign payments from Kazakhstan.

Payments meant for trump btw.
Re: getting paid from trump Cohen says, "I'll be honest I was just glad to get the check."

Since #DonnieTwoScoops is famous for stiffing people I'm damn sure that's a true statement.
Now the discussion is about fraud from the Trump Org. Brilliant line of questioning.
There's NO WAY Donnie Jr. isn't going to prison.
Okay we're getting to tax stuff now.

Juicy baby, juicy.
Cohen's smirk at the end of this is GOLDEN.
Hey lookie!! @RepMarkMeadows' staff can use the Twitter machine!!
@AOC is opening up with asking Cohen to name names again. Love that.

Oh and a little insurance fraud from #DonnieTwoScoops for good measure.
ProTip: asset devaluation is not done on an island.

There is ALWAYS a dirty public official involved in successful asset devaluation.

Now we're getting into abuses by the TRUMP FAMILY of their charitable foundation.

(Read: slush fund)

Cohen is testifying that #DonnieTwoScoops just HAD to have the highest priced portrait at an auction.

Because tiny hands I assume.

Well THAT'S a charitable foundation fraud.

With another Russian connected oligarch of course. 🤔
I was gonna let this clip stand for itself, but since @RepMarkMeadows proves her point we get a taste of how he really feels about people of color, and women.

It's at the end.
@RepRashida is clearly not one to be trifled with. She just shut @RepMarkMeadows DOWN.

And rightfully so.
Well I just discovered Twitter has limited me to 45 seconds videos so this thread is prolly a total shitshow.

But here comes Cohen's closing remarks.

We're going to power through...
Firstly though, I'd encourage you all to try to find the exchange between @RepMarkMeadows & @RepCummings about racism they had just now. It's both confusing and enlightening.
Cohen had some closing remarks. I've broken them up as best as I can.
Here's where he starts taking to his former boss.
Cohen's words to the president, part two.
@Jim_Jordan got the closing remarks but I ain't gonna show 'em because that guy is a #douchewaffle.

We SEE YOU #GymJordan.

And lastly, if you liked this thread, please give @conormahood's and my podcast The Watcher a shot.

Later y'all.

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