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I'm actually currently writing (and the writing is flowing) but I wanted to share a micro-thread with a couple of thoughts on emotions and #AcWri (academic writing). As I started feeling the flow of words this morning, I thought about how important "feeling ok" is to writing.
I'm feeling healthy (I've been pain-free for about two weeks now, since November 2018), focused and concentrated. But yesterday, as I shared here, I felt paralyzed about 3 R&Rs that are crucial to my work. As I was mapping out my March 2019, I realized I have SO MUCH WORK TO DO
But spending the time yesterday to create the roadmap of how I'm going to tackle these R&Rs was really helpful. I've been working on them for a while, not just now, but I now have a clearer vision of what's left to be done and how I'm going to do it. But, back to the emotions...
I shared here and with my Mom that I was feeling paralyzed and scared and afraid of failure (yes, I too feel those things). My Mom told me "you know what's left to be done - you have a roadmap - it's ok to feel worried, but don't let it paralyze you. Feel it, and let it go".
I've been writing and on a roll this morning, but then it occurred to me that as an ethnographer, I write emotions and feelings in my fieldnotes (how I feel about a specific phenomenon I'm observing at a particular moment in time). but I rarely consider them regarding my writing
Reflecting on the fact that I felt worried about failure (and writing it down) helped me realize that even if these R&Rs get rejected where they're now, I can send them elsewhere for publication. There is no absolute, abject failure in this game. You can always find alternatives.
And now I feel empowered, rather than weakened. So, in sum: 1) health is super important for academic achievement, so take care of yourselves 2) declaring that you are "not ok" is also perfectly reasonable 3) it's key to have mentors and colleagues with whom you can be vulnerable
(in my case, my Mom is a professor and a political scientist, so I run to her for advice basically every single day - and on top of that, I've got a mega tonne of good friends in basically every scholarly field whom I can reach out for advice and to complain and rant. And 4)...
4) Acknowledging that this work (academia) can have a negative impact on your mental health, on your emotional well being is important. And 5) For me, sharing how I feel helped me overcome negative emotions about my writing. </end micro-thread>
