Thread by @ArmaniTalks

The person who introduces themself already establishes the higher social value.

Your ego tries to convince you that breaking the ice is creepy.

Nah.

It's only creepy if you think it's supposed to be creepy.

Fix your mindset.

Smile + Say Hello.

Exercise your social muscle.

'What is this social muscle that you speak of?'

It's your muscle that makes it easier to be social.

'How can I see this muscle?'

You can't.

It's invisible like your mind.

But it is there...

Your social personality is dynamic, not fixed.

When you internalize this concept, you realize that charisma can be exercised onto your existence.

But it all starts with the social muscle.

Just like most things in this world, being social is a skill.

Hence, social skills.

If you are someone who is socially awkward now, that just means your social muscle is weak.

'So how do I strengthen this muscle buddy boi?'

From the following steps:

1. Mindset shift
2. Social knowledge
3. Social experience

Let me explain..

1. You have to make 2 mindset shifts.

View social awkwardness as Chapter 1 & not the Conclusion.
-This shift unlocks your optimism & enthusiasm.

Go from a scarcity -> abundance mentality regarding people.
-This shift takes pressure off you & allows you to show authenticity.

Now don't worry about switching your mindset immediately.

Step 1 was to just make you AWARE.

Once your conscious mind is aware, you have gotten the ball rolling.

Step 2 & 3 will internalize the mentality switch.

2. Social Knowledge

Having a little knowledge is much better than throwing shit at the wall.

Read the 2 books:

'Social Intelligence' by Daniel Goleman
'The Charisma Myth' by Olivia Fox Cabane

'Okay what other books?? And do you have some Youtube videos for me too?'

Nah.

Just read those 2 and move on to step 3.

You don't want to be sitting on your ass reading & watching stuff all day.

3. Social experience

This is you going up to people & talking to them.

The reason it's better to start the convo is because it is an active approach.

Your social muscle gets one hell of a workout this way & speeds up your progress to charisma.

You don't want to overanalyze & think of the perfect thing to say.

Just go up & say hello.

This is where the abundance mentality kicks in.

You stop caring what one individual will think of you.

Because around this point, you realized there are billions of people out there.

'Can't I just wait for other people to introduce themselves to me?'

You can. But that's you relying on the external world to strengthen your social muscle.

You going up to the person is you relying on your internal world to strengthen your social muscle.

That's confidence.

But more importantly, my friend, it shows courage.

Just like in any field out there, the top performers are the minority.

Same in the social dynamics world.

-The minority spark the convo.
-The majority wait for the convo to be sparked.

Which is why the person who breaks the ice starts off with the higher social value.

Don't view it to be creepy.

View it to be a reward.

Every time you introduce yourself at a party, spark up small talk with the uber driver, give a stranger a compliment, you have exercised your social muscle!

You do not see linear progress

You see EXPONENTIAL progress

A few interactions in & you feel more confident than ever!

This 3 step process will change your life forever.

You ever heard: 'It's not what you know, it's who you know?'

'Ya.'

It's true!!

Taking the active approach will open up many doors for you.

Some people will not want to be social. Oh well!

When one grape falls onto the ground, do you cry about it?

'Fuck no.'

Why?

'Because I have many more grapes.'

Exactly.

You have many more people around you as well.

Eventually, you'll feel a sense of ease when you're around people.

All because you were willing to be uncomfortable for a while.

That's how you make moves.

That's how you go from:

Socially awkward -> Socially savvy

Now give this 3 step process a try & level up your life!

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