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Fuzzy Chimp
@fuzzychimpcom
, 18 tweets, 1 min read Read on Twitter
I'm imagining what 1850 Twitter would look like with the pro-abortion logic I've witnessed the past couple of days…
Don't like slavery? Don't buy one!
How can you call yourself pro-emancipation and support prisons?!?
No plantation, no opinion!
Republicans want to deny my plantation autonomy!
Nobody WANTS to have a slave, but it's the plantation owner's choice.
What kind of life would they have? They might end up poor or in prison!
It's legal!!!
You don't care about slaves. You just want to control farmers' fields!
Ummm… you get that they're not actually human beings, right???
You're not pro-slave. You're just pro-emancipation. You don't care about them once they're freed!
If Northerners could own slaves you'd be able to buy one on every corner!
My plantation. My choice.
Keep your religion out of my plantation!
We must stop the GOP's war on farms!
You're not pro-freedom. You're just pro-do-your-own-farm-work!
Are you going to take the freed slaves into YOUR home?
(It's actually pretty wild how easily these "arguments" translate. 😬)
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Fuzzy Chimp
@fuzzychimpcom
There once was a young man named Chad who happened upon a salesman. “I have just what you need”, said the salesman. “It’s a buffalo turd, but not just any buffalo turd. It’s covered in a protective varnish and has googly eyes!”
“Why would I want a varnished buffalo turd with googly eyes?” Chad asked.

“Why, it’s an investment, my friend! People will gladly pay you $10 to hold your turd.”
Chad wasn’t sure but he inquired, “How much?”

“$5,000”, the salesman replied.

“$5,000!!!”

“Hold on now. It’s an investment! It will be paid off after the first 500 turd holders, then you’re just making money!”
Read 13 tweets
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Fuzzy Chimp
@fuzzychimpcom
I attended a Christian school starting in kindergarten. The teachers pretended to love me and care for me, working for a fraction of the salary they could make in public education because they considered it a ministry. Horrible people. #ExposeChristianSchools
As I progressed through my education, I learned what they wanted me to learn. My classes seemed harder than the coloring projects my cousin was doing in his public school. Dirty scum Christians! #ExposeChristianSchools
In high school, I learned so much from one particular teacher that my entry-level courses in college were a breeze. I'm still convinced that evil piece of trash of a man was trying to deny me the full college experience. #ExposeChristianSchools
Read 19 tweets
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Fuzzy Chimp
@fuzzychimpcom
While our "news" media is obsessed with trying to push the needle of who is to blame for the shutdown one way or another, let's consider the reality of the situation.
While it's convenient to tweet #TrumpShutdown and say Trump claimed it (he did), the truth is somewhat different if you're not a simpleton.
Who owns the shutdown? Trump does. Chuck and Nancy do. Mitch McConnell does. Any claim to the contrary is someone trying to spin you.
Read 14 tweets

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Cassandra Leigh🥴🍌
@cassaleigh_
I’ve lost some followers in the past couple of days and I can only assume it’s due to me being extremely vocal about what’s happening in the US regarding abortion laws.

So now it’s time to double down:
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ky!
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MissMAGA2016
@MissMaga2016
More #Twitter BIAS. Look up "Trump Rally" on twitter and this is at the top.

Left's been calling Cohen a liar & crook all this time, until he suddenly claimed Trump was racist, after he was indicted. Now they believe him b/c it's fits their narrative.

archive.is/sDYJ5
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#TwitterBias @realDonaldTrump @parscale
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Sibel Edmonds
@sibeledmonds
#Khashoggi Case Thread: I am going to ‘pin’ this post to use it as an ‘Info Thread’ on the #Khashoggi Case. I am in #Turkey. I’ve been following the case closely and with access to sources & experts here. This is a very ‘sensitive’ criminal case due to ‘Diplomatic Booby Traps’!!!
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@toymango
Every day next few days I'll share one #depression/#anxiety insight from my own experience. If it helps anyone a wee bit, it'll be worth it.
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