Thread by @twt_malaysia

Did Two Cancers Kill Me Inside ?

Back in 2015, when I was still 19 years old, I've been diagnosed with stage 2 hodghkin lymphoma. That time, I was still studying in my foundation.

Mula2, ingat sakit demam biasa je. But it happened numbers of times. Always fainted,fever n fever

Then, it happened to have like a lump grew bigger dekat celah kangkang. I went for med checkup several times, and unluckily, I got cancer 😊

It didnt stop there. I was decided not to tell my parents because I was afraid it might worried them, so I kept it silence.

Doc asked me to go for chemotherapy, tp aku tolak that treatment cause I wasnt strong enuf to go thru all of it alone. So, I just took my regiments days n nights. Ulang-alik hosp by myself. No one knew.

After a year, unlucky for me, I was being diagnosed w stage 2 liver cancer.

Disebabkan aku tak buat chemo, the regiments yg aku consume were in a very high dose. It caused me nausea all the times. Malam2 aku akan jadi high, hallucination n muntah2. Kurang selera makan. My body weight was only 48kg. Yes so thin. Ditambah dgn liver cancer, it pain a lot.

10 months. Doc gave me 10 months. It killed me inside. I was mourning my life for about a month.

But then, I realized one thing, dead or live of a person is depending on God fate. Why should I mourn over something that is not sure.

So, I decided to do things that can benefit people ❤

1. I read a lot of books, novels that give me inspirations n motivations.
2. I did volunteering works. Somehow, it cured me inside. I felt ease in my heart. I went to hosp, n cheered e patients there, gave em presents...

....I went down to e road, bagi makan n helped the homeless. Their smile, is miracle. It gives u strength more than the tablets could give to you.
3. I joined PALAPES DARAT in my degree, to ensure I am fit. Despite of all their tough trainings, I put em aside.

4. I joined clubs and societies. I kept myself as busy as I can, so that I can benefit the others and also distracted me from thinking I'm gonna die soon 🥰

Did all of them help my illness to be cured?

Yes! I rang the bell on 2018 and enjoyed my life as a survivor !

So along the year of 2018, I was so happy sebab dapat jalani hidup without active cancer cells in my body. Aku boleh puasa. Aku dah tak muntah2. Tak pening2.

But it wasnt so long until on july 2018, aku selalu cirit birit like food poisoning all e times n berak beradarah a lot.

But, aku buat ambil tak endah. Biarkan je. Sampailah in December 2018, the blood came out from my anus for sudden. So, I went to e hosp for checkup and in January 2019, I was officially a stage 3 colorectal cancer patient or colon cancer. It was nearly spread to my bloodstream.

For ur concern, 2019 should be my big year.

1. I'm gonna commissioned as ROTU ARMY Young Officer ATM in August.
2. I should be graduated in December 2019.

But God plans better. He knows what best for me 😊

This colon cancer is very challenging for me. Usually, in January budak2 Palapes ni akan ada annual camp which kami akan stay in 3 weeks dalam hutan for training. So as this is my final year in Palapes, so i went for it. Eventho, it pain me a lot, blood came out like a alot...

... I have to be strong ! I put wipe tissue at my anus to stop the bleeding and changed it secara senyap2. Nobody knew what I was going thru that time. But Alhamdulillah, I succeed to go thru e training without being admitted into e hosp yeayy 😊 that's my helmet Nato. Haha

My routine also changed after e diagnosed. I have to wear pad and changed it setiap jam. Kalau nak solat pun kena tukar pad tu. Ada satu masa, pergi mall, then nk solat, so I hv to change my pad. Dlm male toilet xde tong sampah pad tu haha. So aku pegang n nk buang kat luar...

...orang duk pandang serong je haha. Sama mcm gi masjid, orang masjid pandang pelik je. But who cares 😂 aku tak kacau sesapa pun haha.

But suddenly in March, I got two bad news, which were...

1. Aku tak boleh tauliah palapes after e 3 years training.
2. My cancer is spreading to the liver.

One after another He tested me. But its okay 😊 I said to myself, "Your life journey would be wonderful after this Meran"... I decided to start my chemo in April.

My first cycle was really bad. I was always vomitting. Nausea all the times and very weak. Second cycle, aku decided potong rambut kesayangan aku sebab dah start gugur dan aku tak sanggup tgk rambut aku lompong2 haha. But bald is sexy what haha

But the third and fourth chemo, aku dah rasa kurang effect dia. And fifth chemo doc cakap kat aku,

"I'm so amazed with how ur body react positively towards the cells. If this happen continuously, you could be free from cancer sooner"

Allahuakbar !

What did I do ?

1. Aku selalu makan chia seed, kekacang, kurma n kismis. Ni ayah aku yg suruh aku jadikan amalan makanan harian.
2. Hidup macam orang biasa.

Thats all. Seriously. Aku makan byk. Aku lari sana sini. Aku jalan sana sini. Aku paksa diri aku untuk sihat!

The only way to survive is by helping yourself to get through it. You are the doctor, tablets, and cure for yourself. Everyone will die sooner or later, but to be sad all the times wont help you solve the problems.

Enjoy ur life to the fullest. Find ur brightest side.

Make yourself memorable to others . And not to forget, you must have strong support group who always back u up when u're feeling down.

But ! Please, dont make people pity on u. Treat u like a normal person, because we are a normal person.

Lastly, the most difficult one to do is please accept all the God's fates wholeheartedly 😊 then only you can be grateful with what u have and be happier ever after.

Trust me, I've been there, so will you 💪😊❤