Thread by @jpluimers

My brother - mentally retarded, and sensing - is staying with us this weekend. The way he asked about mom's memory yesterday evening led us to explaining the dementia means she won't return home ever. Unavoidable, though we'd rather have explained during day time.

1/

Tears were shed. His story went all kinds of crazy and wonderful directions.

His main grief is about her not asking about his well being.

It's hard to explain they why of things Alzheimer related, if even we do not fully understand.

2/

He hasn't been wanting to visit her for a while now because of things happened, which makes him feel very uncomfortable around her, even before the actual diagnosis was clear.

Still, he is very interested in her well being.

3/

These opposed emotions make it extra hard for all of us.

Somehow his story went into him bicycling and watching planes and other things with failing binoculars.

@NvCronenburg happened to have another small pair that is good, and a big pair inherited from her dad.

4/

He has been mindfully watching planes come and go from our balcony for hours.

And both of us have mindfully shredded years 2003-2011 of our finances.

It's odd to realise what brings some ease during the day.

5/

Until he leaves back home on Thursday, a lot of explaining has to be done in a way that he understand and a pace he is comfortable with.

Now that we know how to help him be mindful, we are less scared for the upcoming days.

6/

The last few months have been really hectic.

It's one of the reasons I still need to complete my abstracts for @EntwicklerKON, which I hopefully can do towards the end of the month, when the new place for my mom is finished.

7/

From the opposite side, e are guiding her through more or less the same process and think the temporary place in the same building as her new place is helping her to be mindful and having peace with the new situation.

8/

Hopefully all of us get some better sleep tonight than last night.

So we wish everyone good night's sleep.

/end