Thread by @ClaireBerlinski

Before I tell you everything I said on Twitter yesterday, let me point out that yesterday's edition of "Everything I said on Twitter yesterday" contained a bonus--I added a few point I'd not yet made on Twitter. claireberlinski.substack.com/p/what-i-said-…

An essay, really. Scroll down to:

Let us consider Afghanistan,
Let us consider Kashmir,
Let us consider Pakistan’s nuclear weapons, and
Let us return to considering Pakistan.

I wrote none of that on Twitter.

Why did I put it in the newsletter, then? @mclayfield

Because it was on my mind, and the newsletter was there. Usually, it's the sort of thing I'd Tweet.

But that seemed so inefficient: Tweet it, copy the Tweets to a newsletter, reassemble the paragraphs, then Tweet it again?

Why not just ... write it?

I'm not going to do that again, though, because it's a time-killer. Just like Twitter's a time-killer, basically.

It all arises from the same thing. I start thinking about a problem I'm *not* being paid to think about. Turning it over and over in my head.

Then thinking out loud on Twitter--or writing a newsletter that's meant to be "this thing it'll take me ten minutes to do, maybe a few times a week," instead of "a thing you just spend all morning doing."

And meanwhile the work I'm supposed to be doing,

(the article that's on a deadline, and for which I'll be paid $75) goes unwritten.

That article, suddenly, becomes deathly dull to me, even though *I am the one who pitched it.*

"What do you say, Bob? 750 words about the Great French Wine Blight, by COB tomorrow?"

And I pitched that story to Bob because I'd just spent the whole day studying the Great French Wine Blight, or the literature on the sociology of headhunters in the Yucatan, or whatever I'd eagerly pitched, so obviously, I must be interested in it, right?

Except, as soon as it's on a deadline, I realize, "That's nuts: How can anyone write about the Great French Wine Blight at a time like this? Don't people realize that this stuff with India and Pakistan is NOT A JOKE?"

You don't need to tell me, I know.

It's a self-destructive pathology. I am trying to cure myself of it.

The main point, though, is that yesterday I included a large section that I wrote just for the newsletter, because I didn't want to finish a book review.

Because I am neurotic.

But that's not your problem! For you, it's just a bonus. You get an extra-long FREE newsletter full of things you haven't read before. (And this stuff with India and Pakistan really isn't a joke. We're all going to die.)

Since I vow never again to procrastinate in such a foolish way--and I mean it this time--yesterday's newsletter will one day be such a rare collector's item that you can auction it off at Christie's.

So get a copy, while you still can, from the original print run.

The typo is proof that it's from the first print run. (Can you spot it?) Put it somewhere safe.

"Hey! Look what I found in Pop's attic! You don't think it could be an *original* Claire Berlinski, do you?"

"OMG! Yes! ... Whoa! I think it's from her Late Procrastination Years!

"There's the typo! The typo! Holy heck, Bob ... How much do you think it's worth?"

"I dunno, man, but it's *gotta* be a lot. I mean ... [hushed, dramatic voice] ... after August 2019, she *never procrastinated again.*

I've stopped procrastinating now, leaving me with plenty of time to write the famous work that will transform your copy of a Claire Berlinski newsletter into "something you can bequeath to your alma mater."

I'll fix that typo at 20:00 UTC/GMT +2 hours.

Hurry, don't walk.