Thread by @QuinnyPig

So nine years ago today, I married @bequinning. A thread. If you can put up with my AWS jokes you can tolerate a thread about my spouse. Deal with it!

She's fairly quiet on the Twitters, preferring instead to talk politics on Facebook, so a bit about her:

I've always said that of the two of us, she's the funny one. It's true! She went to Second City for years and studied improv. She often helps refine the kernel of a joke that I spout into something that other people might feasibly enjoy.

Most of my best jokes got The Bethany Treatment(tm). She's phenomenal at slight tweaks that turn a dud into a sidesplitter.

In addition to tolerating my "humor," she's a high-level corporate attorney for a very large IT services company. If you sue them, you'll be dealing with her. Notably, she is *not* the Duckbill Group's attorney, as we don't get sued a lot. Yet.

This has led to a disconcertingly casual "we're being sued!" on her part turn into a heart-stopping moment for me on a couple of occasions.

Before this she was in BigLaw doing litigation. Suing things is to her what "making fun of @awscloud" is to me.

Some people enjoy jokes about women always being right. Those jokes are sexist and I unequivocally reject them.

That said, when you marry an attorney, let alone a litigator, "will you marry me" isn't a question so much as a prelude to a lifetime of negotiation. Trust me on this one.

For instance, we couldn't decide on what to do with our last names when we got married. A few rounds of back and forth later, we agreed to take a new name: Quinn. That's right; I have a maiden name, and have since I was 28.

(Occasionally I get pushback on that from insecure children. If that's you, reevaluate why my choice impacts you at all, and why you feel the need to comment. Then please comment so Bethany can take your argument apart.)

More recently, she can be found helping me raise @quinnypiglet, our daughter (also known as "the Danasaur" or "the Danasaurus" on formal occasions).

I marvel at her reslilance, her wit, and her rhetorical skill. So many of the things I struggle with come so naturally to her.

We throw dinner parties regularly in San Francisco (if you're in town, drop me a DM and we'll see if we can accommodate you!). Invariably people wonder "what the hell married Corey" before they arrive.

Then they meet Bethany and that turns to "she's *great!* Why the hell did she marry *you*?" Reader, I still don't know. I doubt I ever will.

All I know is that my life's been immeasurably better since she wandered into it by way of @okcupid. It's been a wonderful, zany, worldshaking nine years. I love you. Here's to another nine.

And them I'm out, because that's when @quinnypiglet will be entering her teens and there's no way in hell I'm sticking around for that.