Thread by @GilbertCTweets

A short but epic #cornpop thread:

Cornpop and his boys all had rusty straight razors. They’d been soaking them in rain-barrels; getting ‘em rusty. I had a six-foot length of steel chain clinched in my right hand. My heart was beating out of my chest.

If I was going to get cut and left to bleed out in that hot, gravel parking lot, I was going to fracture a few skulls and crack a few ribs in the process.

Cornpop and I faced each-other, not four feet apart.

We were bitter municipal swimming pool rivals, but we had an abiding respect for one-another.

“Cornpop.” I said, trying desperately to hide my fear. “There’s a pretty good chance one of us one of us doesn’t come out of this thing alive.”

“Damn straight, Lunchpail.” He spit back.

Lunchpail. That was my nickname, even back then.

“Before we do this thing, I want to say something.” I said, solemnly. “I took an oath to uphold the rules of this pool and you broke those rules.” Cornpop’s eyes fell.

“I kicked you out and you deserved it. I’d do it again…that’s my job.” As Cornpop raised his eyes, I met his gaze with my own. “But Listen, Cornpop, when I called you Ester Williams…I was out-of-line. I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry man.”

Cornpop looked confused for a second.

“You apologizing to me”?

“I’ll never say I’m sorry for doing my duty, but for what I said…yes Cornpop, I apologize. I’m sorry.” I shook my head in disgust with myself. “Ester Williams? No one deserves to be talked to like that.”

Cornpop’s face softened. He nodded.

“Alright, Lunchpail. Alright. That’s all I needed to hear.”

Cornpop folded up his straight razor and stuffed it back into his swim trunks. His minions followed suit. My heartbeat immediately fell back to normal. I let out a huge sigh of relief. I thought I might have heard Cornpop do the same.

We didn’t shake hands. We didn’t hug or anything like that. We didn't have to. We understood each-other.

We both turned and started to walk away. I was thinking about all the bloodshed we narrowly avoided, most of it mine.

I stopped just as I reached my car.

“Hey, Cornpop.” I called over my shoulder.

He froze in his tracks and turned towards me with a quizzical look on his face.

“If I tell you to get off the board, you get off the board... Ya hear me”?

I rattled the length of chain.

Cornpop gulped then forced a smile.

“Alright, Lunchpail. Alright.”

---END