Thread by @FedUp9jaMan

#TwitterAfterDark

I want to talk about sex from a heterosexual male perspective.

A THREAD!

From my experience both as a medical professional and as an adult male, I have found out that most men worry most about premature ejaculation and weak erection than anything else in sexually satisfying a woman.

In this thesis, I will attempt to show that you should not worry so much about it unless it is a confirmed physiological condition.

Cases of weak erection or premature ejaculation develop from 2 forms: Physical or Psychological.

If as a man, you still have morning erections normally but when it comes to sex your organ fails you, your problem may be more psychological than physical. One reason for that may be what is called Performance Anxiety.

This is what I will attempt to address in this thread.

Performance anxiety in the mind of a guy goes something like this ...

"Hmmm. This babe wey de come so, hope say I go fit perform o. I no wan fall hand o!"

"Choi. See body! You sure say I fit satisfy this babe so?"

"Hey god! This dick no wan stand again o!"

"Ah. E don stand, ope o! Abeg remain standing o."

"Ah! Eh! Now now I don de release o!"

"Urrrghhhh! Chai! This babe go de disappointed. Imagine this foolish penis. After all my boasting. Am die!"

It's a vicious cycle. Your anxiety about performance reinforces self doubt that makes you too scared and anxious to put it your best which results in you performing terribly which then reinforces your belief that you're no good at sex...and so on....

What to do?

First of all, relax.

Take the time to get to know what your prospective sexual partner likes and enjoys.

Ask questions. Listen to them. Every woman is wired differently.

Some orgasm from clitoral stimulation. Others from penetration. Others even from breast stimulation. Some of them don't know their body as much and can't really tell you. Nevertheless, see it as a journey of discovery for both of you.

Take the time to discover pleasure spots on her body. Find out where and how to touch her. Don't always be in a hurry to get it over with. Listen to their bodies.

Personally, I ask for and encourage verbal feedback but find out what she's comfortable with by yourself.

Remember, sex is something you are both engaging in. It is not something you do to the other person. Acts should be mutual and enthusiastic. This is why I like to build a sexual connection before we even physically get down to it. There should some form of anticipation.

It is important to be open minded and willing to learn. No one is an expert at first try. Sometimes we don't even know our bodies enough to know what we'd enjoy or not enjoy.

Let's say she cums from clitoral stimulation, do you think she'd mind that you came in 2 mins if you spent ~10 mins giving her mind blowing and orgasm inducing head?

Even for those who cum from penetration or find it difficult to cum in general, time spent on other activities like kissing, heavy petting, cunnilingus etc can more than make up for the lack of orgasm. It doesn't have to end in orgasm for it to be good sex.

Further more, the better you get at other sexual acts, the greater your confidence about your sexual prowess which in turn makes you less likely to be anxious and therefore improves your ability.

A positive loop.

Hope this helps😊