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I don’t identify as “male” or “female” but rather as I am I. However dating can be a very binary world. So I’ve spent the year conducting various studies about my experiences being perceived on dating apps as male vs female. Here’s some of what I found. #IAmI #lgbtq #genderqueer 
1: I created a two dating profiles with the same photo. The same sexuality (open/bi). And the only differences were that one was “Male” and the other “Female”. I found that my “Male” profile got almost 200% more hits than the “female profile”.
2: The “Male” profiles hits were 70% gay and bi identifying males. 25% hetero/bi identifying females. 5% other identity.
3: It was 12x more likely that a person was willing to agree to meet in person if I identified as “female” than as “male”. (I never actually met anyone though. I would tell them at the end who I was and send them my profile to explain I was conducting a social experiment)
4: I was equally as likely to recieve a dick pic when I identified as “male” as I was when I identified as “female.”
5: I received only three THREE body shaming DM comments when perceived as “male”. I received over 40 when perceived as “female”.
6: When perceived as “male” I was shamed for not wanting to reciprocate dick pics with other “males”. And even by a few “females” I was shamed for not wanting to share a dick pic. As “female” there was pressure to share photos & if I complained about a dick pic they disappeared.
7: When perceived as “female” I attracted more “females” than “males”. Surprisingly an equal number of formerly hetero identifying females to queer identifying females.
8: Messages with “males” lasted an average of 10 communications back and forth. Messages with “females” lasted an average of 26 communications back and forth.
9: When perceived as “male” the first questions I got from most people revolves around my career, sexual body, and location. When perceived as “female” they were about age, location, and if I am interested in performing certain sexual acts.
10: When perceived as “male” the communications from others were a lot less polite. Very rude and direct- and a lot of ghosting. At times even angry. When perceived as “female” the conversations often felt like a game in which the person was trying to trick You into liking them.
11: Trans identifying individuals were 5x more likely to DM my “male” identifying profile then my “female” identifying profile. The DMs with trans women were often very sexually direct but also very respectful if I said no. Not one trans male profile ever brought up sex in DM.
12: I was approached by an older demographic of individuals when identifying as “male” than as “female”.
13: More vegans approached my “female” profile than my “male” profile.
14: It was more likely that as a “female” ANY person contacting would not hve done a full scroll through the written part of my profile. (Tracked by page clicks).
15: When testing about disagreeing I found that more people continued a conversation with me when I identified as a “female” than as a “male.
16: More people thought I identified as a trans person when I was using the “female” profile vs the “male” profile. More “female” profiles asked about my genitalia than “male” profiles when they suspected I might be trans.
17: I was surprised to find that I was almost equally offered paid sexual opportunities when perceived as either “male” or “female”. As “male” by older gay “male” or hetero “women. As female by “hetero” men. I solicited for paid work slightly more as a “female”.
18: As a “male” profile I had to send on average about two DMs for every DM I received in order to keep talking to hetero “females”.
19: As a “female” identifying profile if I said NO or said I wasn’t interested in communicating further whether it was “males” or “females” I would receive an average of 4 messages over two weeks post ending the convo to make sure I didn’t want to re-engage.
20: After I told people I was conducting a social experiment I asked them what was the best and most disappointing thing about my profile. When perceived as “female” they said most disappointing was “no bikini pics”. When perceived as “male” they said “you’re too talkative.”
21: When I asked about the best thing based on my profile- they would say to my “male” profile “You’re hot.” For my “female” profile “You seem really brave/strong”. 😂😂😂😭🥰😂
22: For a bonus one- people were more likely to send cat memes to my “female” profile. But for the “male” profile they were more likely to send pop icons or cartoon memes.
At the end of this experiment what resulted was a clear display of how by a simple fortune of fate- a Gender identifier can change everything about what people think we want and what they think we deserve. No matter what remember You deserve nothing but the best. And NO means NO.
