Wait.
Are the people who are mad about this thread thinking her advice is to reply to people with this whole thing, and not just the options that apply?
Are the people who are mad about this thread thinking her advice is to reply to people with this whole thing, and not just the options that apply?
"Hey! I'm so glad you reached out. I'm actually dealing with some personal stuff right now, and I don't think I can hold appropriate space for you. Do you have someone else you could reach out to?" doesn't seem like a lot to me. I mean, "hold appropriate space" isn't my wording.
The way I was socialized, my instinct when I don't stop and think is to make it sound less about my needs. As in, "I'm dealing with some personal stuff right now, so I don't think I'd be the best person to help you with this."
Which isn't necessarily terrible but isn't great.
Which isn't necessarily terrible but isn't great.
I was not planning on engaging with The Discourse directly but as I see more people describing the script in negative terms it just got more and more bizarre.
Like, no, you do not send a text message to your friend that literally says "Hey, sorry for the short notice, I have to punt on lunch / the movie / our video chat because of work / illness / pet emergency. Can we reschedule or do something else as appropriate?"
That's a template she sent as a suggestion, not an actual message she sent a friend to say "no, sorry, can't help right now".
I think it would be good to be more cautious about labeling other people's affects "robotic" or otherwise inhuman but I'm genuinely curious if people thought she sent that as an actual reply, or was advocating other people do so.
Anyway. That aside, here's my perspective on the whole thing from eariler today.
