Birth certificates, surnames, paternity, mixed families and Ilobolo. We are complicating something very simple. Let’s not pick and choose when to apply isintu and ancestral principles.
A Thread.
A Thread.
Case 1. Child conceived in Full wedlock where Ilobolo has been paid, izibizo done and the traditional ceremony of welcoming umama at home.
The child will always take the fathers surname. Even in divorce , surname can and will only ever be the fathers.
The child will always take the fathers surname. Even in divorce , surname can and will only ever be the fathers.
However, if the mothers marries another man because of divorce, the child can NEVER take the step fathers surname. However, this child must go to the step fathers home and thank them for being raised by the family. This is done with a cow or two and typically before they marry.
In the event, the child is conceived out of wedlock, damages must be paid. This is not Ilobolo for a surname change.
If you want a surname change then the man must reuqest to for a price of Ilobolo and you must slaughter a goat to bring the child into your family.
If you want a surname change then the man must reuqest to for a price of Ilobolo and you must slaughter a goat to bring the child into your family.
Damages must be accepted, however if the mother and their family doesn’t want to change the child surname then they are in their right to reject the man’a request and take damages only.
The man is still responsible for doing his fatherly duties for the child.
The man is still responsible for doing his fatherly duties for the child.
See what I’ve seen is men, pay damages and then this is enough. This is incorrect. Men also think they’re entitled to a surname change.
No, you can throw a milllion at the family for Ilobolo of the child - and the family can decline and the child’s surname remains the mothers
No, you can throw a milllion at the family for Ilobolo of the child - and the family can decline and the child’s surname remains the mothers
In the event, neither of the above are done the child’s surname remains the mothers maiden surname. Even if she marries a different man.
MEN, STOP SAYING TO WOMEN YOU WANT TO LOBOLO HER AND HER CHILD AND THEN CHANGING THE CHILD’S SURNAME.
MEN, STOP SAYING TO WOMEN YOU WANT TO LOBOLO HER AND HER CHILD AND THEN CHANGING THE CHILD’S SURNAME.
Love and raise the child, but ancestrally you have no claim to the child.
Kodwa yena, he must thank you and your family for raising him/her when they get married or are grown up.
Kodwa yena, he must thank you and your family for raising him/her when they get married or are grown up.
ILOBOLO IS NOT MARRIAGE.
If you conceive a child and all that has been done is Ilobolo - that child is still of the maternal family.
If you conceive a child and all that has been done is Ilobolo - that child is still of the maternal family.
