Thread by @SoozUK

THREAD: Eastenders is having its biggest week of the year and a lot of people are going to be at their family home and therefore watching it for the only time in 2019. This thread is to help you catch up on the goings on of Albert Square in preparation of the big day.

We'll start with what's going on with Keanu (yes really), Sharon, Louise and Phil.

Keanu loves Louise and got her pregnant. But just before he loved Louise he loved Sharon and got HER pregnant. But everyone thinks Sharon's baby is Phil's coz he's her husband.

Sharon told Lisa (Louise's mum) that Keanu's the father of her baby to prove to Lisa that she didn't kill Mel. Lisa bloody KNEW something was up and told Phil (Lou's dad) he wasn't the baby's father so now Phil's ready for revenge as SOON as he finds out who cuckolded him.

Meanwhile Phil's son Ben turned his back on his life of crime so he could be with his boyfriend Callum who is trying to get in to the police. But Ben has realised he will never be free of crime and ended the relationship, breaking both their hearts in the process.

Btw Phil knows his son is gay and is basically fine with it these days, if you see him looking red like a Lindor at any point over the Christmas period it's just because he is mad about the Sharon affair thing.

Just across the square live Grey and Chantelle (Keanu's sister). They seem like the perfect couple but Grey is violent to her and she hasn't told anyone. He has promised he'll change so they're renewing their wedding vows. Hope these cool kids work things out!

MEANWHILE strap in, this one's complex. The Slaters owe Phil £50k but in the kerfuffle Kat and Stacey put Phil in a coma for a bit. Stacey got the blame so Martin (Stacey's husband) got her to go on the run and to keep the secret Ben got Martin to do crime for him.

To keep Stacey from learning about his new life doing crimes for Ben, Martin told Stacey he cheated on her with Sonia (his ex and mother of his daughter). BUT HE DIDN'T OMG HE LOVES STACEY! So Stacey was heartbroken and everyone hated Martin (Sonia doesn't know about his lie).

THEN as I told you already Ben turned his back on crime so Martin was free and Stacey could come home but PLOT TWIST she already has a new fella. Now MARTIN is heartbroken and having a breakdown and is back to doing crimes coz fuck it why not.

The greedy landlords are upping the rent at the Slaters and they can't pay it so they're being kicked out so they've BARRICADED themselves in to the house for "the best Christmas ever" and I reckon they'll get it and everything will be fab.

Oh btw today's episode just ended and after doing a great crime Ben accidentally ran someone over and that was the end of the episode.

MEEEEEAAAAANWHILE Mick (Danny Dyer and he's fantastic) and Linda were gonna do a booze-free December coz she's really been putting it away but GUESS WHAT she can't stop and is in denial about being an alcoholic and everyone's well worried.

Oh god right this one's gonna take some 'splainin. OK. Years and years ago, like more than ten years ago Whitney was revealed to have been groomed and abused by her stepdad. Her stepdad went to jail and Whitney has been trying to keep her life sweet ever since. She's a trooper!

Whitney recently found love and happiness with a new guy, Leo. He's really in to her and she's dead happy.

But it turns out he was her stepdad's son and he's getting revenge on her for putting her stepdad in jail all those years ago. OH WELL.

She told Leo some home truths about his now-dead peadophile dad and she felt empowered and walked away. Go Whitney.

But now Leo is stalking her.

I think that's all the major xmas plot points covered. I hope you all have a very merry Christmas. Christmas Eastenders Week is up there with the summer Olympics, the World Cup and General Elections in terms of my must-see viewing. Let's hope Albert Square has great festive day!

By the way, guys, it's now Christmas in Eastenders so expect to see more than a few crane shots of Albert Square.