Thread by @shannonrosa

CN: murder, disability, & mental health.

There is a horrifyingly typical coupling of devotion with murder, whenever disabled people are involved.

I'm here to say: Fuck that.

This is going to be a thread.

#Neurodiversity

1/

I need you—and judges and reporters everywhere—to understand that, however difficult it may be for families to support their disabled loved ones, *murder is never excusable*. There are always other options.

Always.

2/

Consider that disability-related murders are more common than the occasional high-profile story might have one suppose—according to Julia Bascom @JustStimming of the Autistic Self Advocacy Network @autselfadvocacy, the average rate for these murders is…

One. Each. Week.

3/

These killings always destroy me, because descriptions of victims are so similar to how my son Leo has been perceived by some journalists, & even some acquaintances: as Leo needs (& deserves) full-time support, my husband & I are automatically considered good, selfless people. 4/

This keeps me up at night: Would people really sympathize with me if I hurt my son? Could they really justify the loss our wonderful Leo—who loves & trusts us whole-heartedly, and whom we love right back; because he was born with #autism and a communication disability? 5/

Would people really write off my #autistic son's murder as a burden being lifted?

(Spoiler: According to popular media precedents: Yes, they probably would. This is reprehensible and makes me howl at the moon and shriek at my computer.)

6/

I blame the tendency of such twisted dismissals of the value of autistic lives like Leo's on the constant negative media barrage about autism, especially the recurring theme of how awful it is to be an parent of an autistic kid like my son.

7/

So many autism stories about "loving parents" violate the most private moments of the autistic children in question, which means listeners and readers are further conditioned to see parents as victims, and their kids as unreachable and inhuman.

This is not OK.

8/

It's just that ... parents rarely write mainstream accounts of autism any other way: Their kids are burdens, their families are “victims of autism."

And #autistic people who don't tell their own stories are rarely portrayed as fully human.

9/

I'm not saying that parents like me shouldn't write about our lives & feelings with honesty. But we MUST weigh what we say publicly against the potential long-term harm, to both our #autistic children & disabled ppl like them—and be vigilant in monitoring our boundaries. 10/

This thread is from the introduction to a @thinkingAutism essay of mine, which also goes into detail about why prioritizing my #autistic son’s worth & protecting his privacy does NOT mean I’m a strong person. (The rest is too tender to RT just now):

thinkingautismguide.com/2017/03/untwis… 11/11