Thread by @ArmaniTalks

Charisma is a state of being.

And it always comes down to being best friends with yourself.

People who are best friends with themself feel whole.

And are less needy.

When you know yourself, you know the FUNDAMENTALS of psychology & emotional intelligence.

'So charisma is not an act that I can learn?'

You can.

But it will feel like work.

It's better to make it an identity.

Treating it as an identity takes longer.

But is well worth the effort.

Charisma stems from respect.

That's the core of it all.

'Define respect.'

Making the individual feel important in their respective world.

If you can do that, then you speak to their subconscious mind.

But it's hard to make someone else feel important when you can't even make yourself feel important.

You will be surface-level at best.

But you won't have a core understanding of how humans work.

1. INTRA-personal intelligence is knowledge of self.

2. INTER-personal intelligence is knowledge of others.

Most jump straight to 2.

But it's more effective to zone in on 1 & often 2 just happens.

Psychology is to connect with your mind.

Emotional intelligence is to connect with your heart.

Learn these 2 subjects & you'll have a solid grasp of human nature.

Learning these 2 topics comes down to not using labels.

Saying this is a 'bad' memory will prevent you from learning about it.

Momentarily, take away the narratives.

Experiences are neutral until our thinking assigns it a perception.

To build true intrapersonal intelligence, you gotta be honest with yourself.

And you can't be honest with yourself when you're lying to yourself.

Make the experiences neutral as hard as it may seem

Sort of like when you give advice to others.

Since you aren't going thru that problem personally, you're able to give well thought out suggestions to their issues.

Rather than one filled with bitterness.

Need to do the same with yourself.

Becoming best friends with yourself typically happens in the darkness because you're forced to accept all parts of you.

All the physical sensations that your nervous system throws out.

If you don't, then you won't move on.

Being best friends with yourself will make you feel whole.

Rather than fragmented.

Nowadays, people don't listen. They hear.

But not listen.

'I thought the 2 were the same?'

Nope.

Hearing is physical.

Listening is mental.

No one is going to fully know what you have been thru.

Nor do they need to.

Everyone got their own battles that they are fighting.

So rather waiting for the magical moment for someone to understand you.

Understand yourself.

Introspection & journaling makes you come to terms with moments that most run away from.

Journaling is big because you get to control your mind & direct it under your command.

If there's any habit that you were looking to pick up.

Let it be writing.

The more you come to terms with the good sides to you & the flawed sides, the more you view yourself from a human lens.

You have learned the art of empathizing with yourself.

That's intrapersonal intelligence.

Nowadays, when you approach conversations, you approach it from a different lens.

You are not looking for the 'right' thing to say.

Or tricks & gimmicks.

Your state of being has changed.

You're much more TARGETED with your conversations.

A lot of social anxiety happens because you're not TARGETED in conversations.

You think there is this 'big group' out there to get you.

This engages your primal brain & makes you think you're in danger.

Anxiety follows.

But when you are TARGETED...

You don't see a crowd.

You see individuals standing next to each other.

Major paradigm shift.

This newfound targeted conversation skill starts from first learning about the only person that you can truly learn about.

Yourself.

Focus on intrapersonal intelligence.

Get to know yourself.

Learn how your psychology & emotions work without the narratives.

And charisma will follow

There are 2 types of charisma.

People who do it from a conscious level.

People who do it from a subconscious level.

Opt for the latter.

Understand yourself first so you can then understand others

That's how you get a crash course on psychology & emotions intelligence.

The fundamentals of human nature.

For more practical social skills insights, follow @ArmaniTalks