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Arthur Kimes @ComradeArthur
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Hard Boiled - a live tweeting.
In order to see this the first time, I had to track down an obscure specialist video tape rental place in Beverly Hills. $8 for a 1 day rental!
Tequila
Something fizzy
Shake it up
Play some jazz.
Downtown Hong Kong.
That place had more action than NYC in a Marvel comics book
"Stunt Co-ordinator - Phillip Kwok"
You know you're in for a party now.
Kwok also plays the true hero of this movie - Mad Dog.
The two undercover cops jog to the teahouse.
one says how much his wife worries about him.
Dead Meat.
One of those VERY chinese teahouses were people bring along their birds and birdcages.
The gun runner boasts about his pistols.
"they can bust through two oil drums, come out and kill a guy."
probably the Norinco Type 54 ( Chinese made Tokarev TT-33) 9x19mm
All the guns in Hard Boiled are here
imfdb.org/wiki/Hard_Boil…
Boiling tea pot beat down!
Step on the bird cage - two sample pistols pop out
AND IT'S ON LIKE DONKEY KONG!
Bad guys get the first shot off and OF COURSE it hits the cop who was worried about his wife.
Tequila (Chow Yun Fat) immediately levels up into Two Gun mode and shoots the sob in the legs.
There's approximately 500 people shooting at each other.
Tequila goes airborne over a booth and two guns some bastard into oblivion.
Just before that another bad guy pulls out his SMG and goes to town.
He has the optional 1,000 round magazine.
As the panicked mob flees the tea some bad guys also flee and shoot anybody, 3 times, who isn't running fast enough.
Bad guy running down stairs shoots at Tequila,
Tequila dodges and lands on the stair rail.
It's time.
TEQUILA SLIDES DOWN THE RAIL ON HIS BACK TWO-GUNNING THE GANGSTERS INTO A THIN GRUEL!
Mr. SMG now tries to escape.
Just now the HK police reinforcements arrive.
pew pew pew - they're all shot by SMG guy who flees back upstairs as Tequila shoots back.
Tequila's wounded buddy shoots the hostage in front of SMG guy and absorbs about 500 rounds from the SMG.
Tequila goes airborne again,
SMG guy shoots so many rounds he sets off a flour explosion!
Then Tequila shoots the now helpless SMG guy in the face.
Tequila is all covered in flour - looks like ghost.
After shooting SMG guy Tequila's face is covered in gore.
Great image!
This would have been the climax for other movies.
We're Just Warming Up.
Gunfight over, cop Boss shows up.
Boss to Tequila: Oh well done. You're such an asset.
(Sarcasm Is Not Helpful!)
(to be fair, the tea house looks like Omaha Beach on June 6)
Boss: Give the guy a gun and he's Superman.
Give him two and he's God.
Police Funeral.
Cop boss goes to mortuary.
Pulls sheet off one (of many) corpses, salutes.
Uh-oh, undercover cop got killed!
Here's some random guy zipping thru HK freeways in his sporty red convertible.
(Tony Leung - the next cop to go undercover)
Strolls into a library, pulls out a book.
Sits down in front of another guy.
Asks he why he betrayed the boss.
Pulls silenced pistol out of book
#Headshot!
(actually you don't know Tony Leung (Alan) is a cop yet)
wow, HK cops can murder people!
Crime scene analysis at the library.
Tequila analyzes the blood spatter. Deduces the gun was in a book and finds the book! (A Shakespeare volume)
Yeah, Alan put the bloody book back on the shelf.
Anyway, Tequila is not just the world's best gunfighter, he's also Sherlock!
Alan lives on a sailboat.
He feels bad about flat-out MURDERING people so he makes origami birds and drops them in the ocean.
Ok, then.
Oh wait. He just hangs up the birds. (the ocean part comes much later)
Tequila at the cop HQ
Office lady (T's ex-girlfriend) getting flowers delivered.
She needs Tequila (a musician, also) to sing the song in the note with the flowers.
He signs, she writes down the notes.
The musical notes DECODE INTO A SECRET MESSAGE from an undercover cop!!!
Alan shows up to report at a jolly meeting with one of the two crime gangs in this movie.
I love that this flick doesn't just have a gang of gun runners.
It has TWO gangs of gun runners - who don't like each other!
This gang, led by Mr. Hui, is the traditional gang. Honor, respect!
Now we see the other gang.
Hui's gang was meeting in garden. Birds were singing
This gang meets in a grimy place. They must be the BAD gang!
Also, first Phillip Kwok (Mad Dog) sighting.
The Bad Gang is led by Johnny Wong (played another great actor, Anthony Wong)
Mad Dog.
And now ALAN is meeting with the Bad Gang!
A double agent! Such treachery.
You can tell Mad Dog is the best because he instantly know Alan is up to no good. But he's only #2 so J. Wong trusts Alan.
Wong is trying to recruit Alan
Wong: My arms business is real money. It's world wide. Wherever there's war, there's Johnny.
Most things go in and out of fashion-- except war, my friend.
Alan turns down Wong's offer to change sides but Wong is so impressed by Alan he doesn't kill him. As they depart the meeting Wong is outraged that his cars have been covered by newspapers detailing the Tea House shootout.
Tequila's work.
He then punches out Wong.
He berates Wong at gunpoint.
"I'm on your case, scum. If I find anything, I bust you."
This is in front of all of Wong's men. Wong is losing a lot of face.
As Tequila leaves, Alan PISTOL WHIPS HIM LIKE A BITCH.
Alan convinces Wong not to kill Tequila on the street in broad daylight.
Later, Tequila is fishing and waiting for a tip from an informant.
Informant tells him Wong is going to take out Hui and all his inventory tonight.
He warns Tequila that Wong "He's not quite sane."
As Tequila leaves the informant mentions his mother is doing well in the rest home Tequila found for her.
Obviously, the informant is DEAD MEAT.
Tequila starts to set up a plan with the rest of the cops to break up the gang-on-gang fight tonight. His boss, pissed off that Tequila confronted Wong, takes him off the case.
The boss is so angry he yells at him IN ENGLISH "This is a fucking order!"
Tequila: You know, you're really full of shit. The toilet's over there.
Wong's gang guns up for the battle.
Wong calls Alan and asks him to help out. Alan accepts.
(Yeah, Alan just changed sides)
Night
Wong's convoy moves towards Hui - led by a V formation of motorcycle maniacs.
As they drive towards Hui's warehouse, Wong asks Alan to kill Hui. He gives him a gun and say to kill Hui with this gun or you can kill me instead. Macho!
The Motorcyle Maniacs, let by Mad Dog (duh), fire their SMGs and blow through Hui's outer security.
BTW, the boss cop cancelled the police raid when he took Tequila off the case...
Maniacs zip into the main warehouse (full of guns) killing everything that moves.
Mad Dog is *not* going to let Tequila upstage him.
Mad Dog *slides* his cycle into a big room and SMGs everybody while sliding across the floor.
One of Hui's minions lives long enough to call Hui and say a raid is going on.
Hui, an idiot, goes to the warehouse.
Unbelievably, there's more gunfire in the warehouse shootout than the teahouse shootout. Probably because most of Wong's gang is using SMGs. (Sub Machine Guns)
Mad Dog is SMGing and Hand Grenading everything.
Wong observes the carnage and chuckles like a mad man. Alan's being his bodyguard and looks like 'what the hell did I just get into'.
Mad Dog SMGs the last holdouts. Wong gives the order to take all the guns and ...

Who's that sneaking around in the back...?
OMG, Tequila disobeyed orders! He's carrying EVERY GUN EVER MADE and is going to take down this raid by himself.
Tequila goes into Ninja mode and climbs into the ceiling...
Wong wants Alan to kill Hui.
Wong tells his men to hide so it looks like the raid is finished. Even Hui isn't stupid enough to drive into building full of Wong's men.
Alan stands alone in the middle of the carnage. Since nobody else can be seen, Hui's convoy drives into a trap! Mad Dog (who else?) flips a grenade under one of Hui's cars to start the ambush.
The one car blows up. The rest of Hui's car drive into the burning car because they're too stupid to live. (the rest of the cars don't burn, they just crash and Hui's men get out)
Hui's men surround Hui.
The signal is given and about 1,000 of Wong's men jump out of hiding and surround the dozen or so of Hui's men.
After a few seconds of a typical John Woo Gun Standoff - Hui, seeing that's he's Dead Meat, orders his men to drop their guns. He hopes their lives, at least, might be spared.
Hui confronts Alan. Hui demands Alan shoot him - that's the honorable way. Alan shoots Hui in the gut.
Whoops, in the heart. It looked like a gut shot.
Wong smiles
Did Hui's gambit work? Will his men be spared?
Alan SMGs them mercilessly!
Well, that's that. Wong's raid worked.
SUDDENLY, tear gas grenades rain down from the ceiling.
Wong's men are panicked and they can't see too well (those are probably smoke grenades, not tear gas)
They run around...
TEQUILA swings down on a rope from the ceiling SMGing anybody he feels like!!
Looks like Tequila is using an assault rifle. Wong's men drop like mayflies.
For some reason, Alan seems annoyed by this.
As Tequila nears the floor, Mad Dog takes control! He lays heavy suppressive fire into the area around Tequila and all Tequila can do is dodge like a pussy since MAD DOG RULES!
Mad Dog's magazine is empty. Tequila drops his assault rifle and retaliates with shotgun firing NUCLEAR BUCKSHOT. I assume it's atomic in nature since everything he hits blows up. Mad Dog dodges.
Alan tells Wang to beat feet. Says he and Mad Dog can take care of this ninja dude.
Wang drives away with his surviving minions while the rest of the Motorcycle Maniacs stick around so they can look spectacular while Tequila kills them.
Tequila shotguns one MM then leaps into the air and shotguns another MM Right In The Gas Tank.
he blows up real good.
Tequila's airborne shots do Quad Damage!
Yet another Motorcycle Maniac is unconvinced. He rides his cycle using a car like a ramp and gains really good air.
Tequila hits the gas tank again. The explosion is even bigger.
Alan is just warming up.
He starts shooting at Tequila - using only 1 gun.
Outraged, Tequila returns fire with a big revolver and the shotgun. Alan scurries away.
Mad Dog returns.
Starts SMGing the area of Tequila. Tequila pushes a car to create rolling cover!
Then Tequila flips a hand grenade at Mad Dog. Note that he doesn't even LOOK at Mad Dog - the grenade explodes right in front of Mad Dog. Surely killing him.
Tequila roams the smoke filled warehouse, looking for more ass to kick.
Alan pops up. Another John Woo Handgun standoff... No! Tequila pulls the trigger on his revolver... <click> Out of ammo!
Alan's gun is an inch from Tequila's neck.
he decocks the hammer on his pistol and leaves! With a big grin on his face?!
Tequila looks pissed. He's just figured out what happened (Alan is a cop)
---------
Next day, Alan is sailing. He screams in rage and anguish.
Tequila confronts his boss. He's pissed that he almost killed a cop (Alan).
Boss tells him to STFU.
-----
Tequila passes around a sketch of Alan - his informant recognizes it and tell him where Alan lives.
Alan confronts the Boss. Tells him to keep Tequila away - he'll screw up everything.
It seems the big prize is Wong's massive arsenal. The cops still don't know where it is. That's what Alan is trying to find out.
Tequila jumps Alan on his boat. Holds a gun to his head... decocks the hammer and they chat.
Tequila notices Alan's boat is filled with origami birds. Alan says he makes one each time he kills somebody.
There Are A Lot Of Birds.
Gunmen approach the boat!
Remnants of Hui's gang out for revenge on Alan.
A shotgunner gets the first shot and wounds Alan. But he's Alan so he shrugs off a few buckshots.
Alan and Tequila obliterate the rest.
Wong shows up, Tequila fades away.
Wong takes the wounded Alan to Maple Group Hospital - saying that Alan will get the best care and round the clock guards.
He seems very familiar with that hospital.....
Oh, look. Here's the wounded Mad Dog also hanging out at the hospital.
Wong figured out that Tequila's informant told Hui's remnants where Alan was. Wong vows to Alan that he'll kill him.
Alan speculates to Wong that the informant might know where Wong's arsenal is. Wong turns pale! Now Alan knows he can get the location from the informant - if the informant lives.
Night
They catch the informant. Alan beats him, slips a lighter into his coat pocket.
Shoots him (in the lighter) and the informant falls into the ocean.
The barely alive informant staggers into the jazz bar (where Tequila hangs out) and tells tequila the arsenal is in Maple Group hospital!!!
Tequila takes the informant to that hospital for treatment and starts to snoop.
Since the hospital is under control of Wong, he's soon told the informant is still alive.
Alan convinces Wong to allow him to kill the informant.
Wong agrees but now he's getting suspicious and sends some minions along to "help" Alan.
Tequila guards the informant. Learns the arsenal is in the basement.
Mad Dog and Alan (working independently) approach the room.
Alan is able slip a warning to Tequila so he moves the informant to another room.
BTW, Mad Dog is wounded - he's wearing an eye patch. That means he now does double damage. #Frenzy!
Alan, followed by two of Wong minions, enters the informants (old) room and shoots the dummy in the bed. When the minions follow him in the room, Tequila and Alan close the door and kill them. (with silenced guns)
Meanwhile, Mad Dog is roaming the hospital, looking for the informant.
The informant panics and wheelchairs away.
He runs into Mad Dog and ... squick.
Tequila and Alan are bonding. While they chit-chat, Mad Dog leaves.
T and A check up on the informant, find only a blood trail. They see Mad Dog's back and chase him.
Too many guards (the whole hospital is under Wong's control). T and A go back and try and get reinforcements.
(this is before cellphones)
Tequila's ex shows up. She has blueprints and they figure out exactly where the arsenal must be. he tells her to wait for his signal and then evacuate the patients. (they're still trying to get the rest of the cops there, too)
Tequila does his Ninja thing and infiltrates. He has Alan on a gurney, covered in sheets. He heads to the presumed arsenal location. It's the morgue.
They kick everybody's ass and search.
Meanwhile, cops, disguised as patients start to enter the waiting room.
BTW, Tequila has already passed the EVACUATE note to his ex - but he didn't tell her. She'll find it in her pocket eventually.
The morgue search comes up empty.
Tequila puts on his Sherlock cap and looks at the records. He's sees there corpse lockers that are Never Used.
That's the disguised arsenal entrance!
They enter the James Bond Villain looking corridor to the Arsenal. Alan locks the door behind. Now they can't get out. It's motivation!
At the end of the corridor they find an impenetrable vault door. Since they're trapped, this gives them time to get macho with each other. This goes on for awhile.
Tequila puts on his McGuyver hat and develops an odd way to open the door. It involves gunplay.
Or his Marine hat. "every problem can be solved with the proper application of high explosives."
he's got a lot of hats!
It doesn't work!
But the now exposed conduit does have a lot of arcing wires that are related to opening the door.
Alan grabs a BIG power cable from an exhaust fan and shorts into the exposed wiring.
Big electrical arc.
Alan goes down, hard. Twitching.
His heart has stopped.
meanwhile, the door to the arsenal is opening!
Man, I forget how crazy great this movie is!
Tequila puts on his medic hat and does CPR on Alan, restarting his heart. It only takes a few seconds because Tequila.
While he does that, guess who is INSIDE the arsenal investigating the disturbance?
Mad Dog is showing off. He's using a Thompson Center Arms contender with a .223 *rifle* cartridge. It may be a single shot handgun but that's a damn powerful single shot.
Both Tequila and Alan fire back.
Mad Dog reconsider the wisdom of being in a fire fight with a single shot hand gun and fades away.
Our heroes are left in the arsenal surrounded by EVERY GUN EVER MADE. It looks like the scene from the Matrix.
Wong and a bunch of minions enter the hospital.
at the same time the ex-girlfriend notices the EVACUATE note.
Now Mad Dog shows what he's made up. Ninja-style, he's hiding on a ceiling. When Alan and Tequila walk underneath he drops and starts kicking their ass with his bare hands (and boots)
It's a one-sided fight. Because Mad Dog!
-----
Meanwhile, the ex pulls the fire alarm to force an evacuation.
Mad Dog gets tired of beating on them and grabs a short barreled AK - blazing away full auto.
Wong sees this on the security TV and orders the fire extinguisher gas to be turned on in the armory - which will asphyxiate everybody.
Mad Dog sees the gas coming in, leaves. He shoots up the exit button before the door closes behind him.
Wong sees the evacution, realizes the cops are coming and decides all those patients will make first class hostages.
The ex goes to the creche and tries to help evacuate babies.
Wong's men go to the roof and starting shooting fleeing patients! trying to force them back in the hospital. The police start to arrive in force.
Short, sharp gunfights start to break out all over the hospital as Wong's hospital guards and undercover cops surprise each other.
Wong: They pushed me too far. Take the patients hostage.
His minions look discouraged.
Wong: A cop's just a human being with a gun. he's not immortal.
Minions fire automatic weapons from hospital windows at the arriving cops, proving Wong's point.
None of the babies are evacuated. Best hostages of them all...
I guess the extinguishers aren't as lethal as I thought.
Tequila and Alan arm up and .. oh, look at that! Bundles and bundles of C4 explosive are on one wall.
----
Meanwhile, Wong's men are setting up remote control explosives all over the hospital.
NOW Wong's men start using light anti-tank rockets on the police cars!
Man, the HK police are in trouble. if only they had an elite unit of bad asses...
Time to leave the arsenal.
Marine hat ON.
"All problems can be solved by the proper application of high explosives"
BOOM
T and A enter the morgue guns ablaze and kill about 10 minions.
Mad Dog suggests that Wong let some of the patients go.
Wong: You scared?
Mad Dog: "... some things in life are out of line."
Wong: What's this about out of line?
T and A enter Ninja mode. They put silences on their guns and start infiltrating.
Their infiltration involves acrobatically shooting everything that moves. But they're quiet about it!
Being ninjas, Alan takes a guard's uniform and escorts "prisoner" Tequila to the lobby where the main cluster of patients are held hostage. Many of the hostages are undercover cops. who have guns.
Alan: Get Down!
Undercover cops knock the patients down. The minions are left standing. BOOM BOOM goes Tequila's shot gun.
More minions rush the lobby.
Alan DUAL WIELDS SUB-MACHINE GUNS and solves that problem!
With Alan becoming the Angel of Death, the undercover cops are able to evacuate some patients.
Ex-girlfriend drags Tequila to the creche to help with the babies.
Remember this?

The Hong Kong NINJA POLICE show up!
They break into the hospital windows, swinging on ropes, and kick UNHOLY ASS.

Nothing Can Stop The Ninja Police!!
The Ninja Police move through the hospital like a Pyroclastic Flow of Ass Kicking.
Then they reach the creche.
Tequila asks them to help evac the babies.
There are fires all over the hospital. The Babies Must Be Saved!
Ninja Police are rappeling out the windows holding babies.
But babies have the power to de-ninja! The ninja police are now lowly redshirts and the minions start to massacre them!
Alan and Tequila feel like kicking more ass. They start to roam the next floor of the hospital.
Shit Is About To Get Real.
The next 3 minutes or so is an astounding piece of film making. It's a tracking shot (no cuts!) covering 2 floors of gunfights.
When T and A enter the elevator... they're in a movie studio. It's not an elevator!
But the tracking shot doesn't stop. In the few seconds they're in the "elevator", while the doors are closed, everybody in the studio rushed around the soundstage moving the walls and props - creating another floor of the hospital in a less than minute.
Then the "elevator" doors open and T&A continue their epic gun fight. All in one shot. You have to watch it a few times to appreciate how brilliant it is.
Early in the segment, Alan is gut shot.
Then he kills an undercover cop by accident.
After 3 minutes of so T & A start to run out of minions to kill.
Enter Mad Dog!
Screw that single shot hand gun.
Now he has an assault rifle with a GRENADE LAUNCHER.
Mad Dog delivers a savage beat down.
------
Meanwhile, ninja cops go for more babies. But the power of babies de-ninja them and they're shot to ribbons.
T & A have a wall separating them from Mad Dog.
<load grenade launcher>
SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!
Mad Dog even has time to kill a ninja cop, en passant.
Minions break into the creche, blow away a few ninja cops.
Ex-girlfriend picks up a pistol.
Minion slaps her. "Bitch!"
She shoots him. A lot.
A ninja cop radios for help "Save the babies!"
Tequila hears that on the radio of the ninja cop that Mad Dog killed.
Tequila will leave Alan to deal with Mad Dog while he helps with the babies.
Mad Dog is out of rifle ammo so it's hand gun to hand gun vs. Alan.
Tequila kills the population of small country on the way to the creche.
Alan and Mad Dog have the classic run down parallel corridors shooting at each other through windows. Ahhh.
Creche evacuated, Tequila and the surviving ninja cops help the ex-girlfriend (Theresa) out the window.
She hears a cry.
One More Baby Left!
Tequila will go back for it.
Minions wait outside the creche to ambush Tequila when he leaves with the baby.
He's shooting them up, gun in one hand, baby in the other arm while singing soothing songs to the baby!
Tequila takes a shoulder shot during the battle.
Alan and Mad Dog are flying through the air, missing each other.
Then wind up in the same room with a dozen huddled patients on the floor between them.
Classic John Woo pistol standoff begins.
Mad Dog has standards.
Both he and Alan place their guns on the floor and order the nurses to get the patients out of the way.
There's a gun fight to finish!
As the wounded patients are led away, Wong shows up. he's pissed at this display! He SMGs the patients and nurses!
Alan escapes.
Mad Dog is stunned.
Then he picks up his gun and shoots the SMG out of Wong's hand!!
They're all dead anyway.

Mad Dog: You didn't have to kill them
Wong: I kill whoever's in my way! Don't question me! Bastard. Go on.
Mad Dog shoots at Wong... MISSES. That's the last shot in his gun.

Wong turns him inside out with a shotgun.

Mad Dog RIP.
Alan, badly wounded, meets Tequila near the creche.
Wong is close behind with the world's biggest shotgun. Some sort of street sweeper.
Tequila kills Wong's remaining minions.
Wong holds up a remote detonater! Says he'll blow up the hospital. (there are now small bomb All Over the hospital)
Wong; You're just shit! You can't get me!
and walks away with the detonator.
Alan decides to go after Wong, Tequila will save the baby.
Wong pushes the button. Bombs start to explode. Not all at once. The ones in the arsenal go first.
Flames separate Alan and Tequila. Alan has no clear way out anyway.
Bombs are now going off every few seconds.
Tequila rushes down the corridor towards the exit window. He's in such a hurry he even throws his gun away!!!!!!!!!!
As he runs, bombs keep going off behind him, narrowly missing him.

Very Cool!
Tequila is on the 3rd floor, flames everywhere. he can't get to a stairway.
He sees a hefty telephone cable.
stuffs the baby in his jacket and leaps out the window, holding the cable!
He *almost* leaps out the window.
On the way, a jet of flame hits him and his pants are on fire.
THE BABY PISSES THE FLAMES OUT!
I repeat,
THE BABY PISSES THE FLAMES OUT!
Pants extinguished (but urine-soaked, ick) he leaps out the window, holding the phone cable.
Massive, firey explosions rack the ruined hospital.
Fireballs reach out to grab Tequila as he fleets the hospital. They narrowly miss.
Now two more people stagger out of the wreckage. Alan and Wong! And Wong is holding a gun to Alan!!
Tequila grabs a revolver, confronts Wong.
Wong holds a gun to Alan's head - hides behind him.
Some trashtalk follows. such as
Wong: I thought you were a supercop. But you're a man, like the rest.
Wong: Slap yourself.
Tequila slaps himself.
Wong: now the other cheek, like Jesus said.
Tequila slaps his other cheek
More humiliations follow.
Eventually Alan grabs the gun, forcing towards his body.
Wong shoots, then
TEQUILA SHOOTS WONG IN HIS RIGHT EYE.
Then he shoots him again because Wong really needs more shooting.
Alan dies.
The polices boss and Tequila burn his file in their ritual for dead undercover cops.
PSYCH! Alan isn't dead! Badly wounded, all bandaged up he sails way on his boat dropping the origami birds into the water.

OR, he's actually dead and that represents him passing into the afterlife.

since he's all bandaged, I assume he's alive.
THE END.
The tea house shootout was filmed before they had a script for the movie!

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hard_Boil…
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