Jacob Rees-Mogg was supposed to board the Brexit fishing boat at Embankment pier. But he's just been told he's not allowed on because no one asked TFL's permission
Blocked from boarding his Brexit boat, Jacob Rees-Mogg is now having to walk to Parliament instead 
A cyclist stops at the side of the road to inform Jacob Rees-Mogg that he (Jacob Rees-Mogg, not the cyclist) is "our next prime minister"
Jacob Rees-Mogg has abandoned ship - or at least, abandoned the ship he never actually boarded. Apparently he's got to go to a select committee
Typical British red tape from those meddling bureaucrats in London. It's time to take back control and leave Britain
Brexiteer Tory MP Sir Desmond Swayne is on the Commons terrace awaiting the vessel. He is waving a Union flag and wearing a hat that appears to have been photoshopped on his head by the BBC
Rule Britannia
BREAKING: Nigel Farage has thrown a fish
LONG-READ: Nigel Farage began by throwing a single fish. Then he threw a whole crate of fish. Then he threw a second whole crate of fish
The fish have now been comprehensively thrown
The fish-throwing ceremony is now complete, but rest assured that I will be remaining on the Commons terrace to break news of any drownings as and when they happen
Risk well and truly averted
HMS Brexit is currently sailing in circles outside St Thomas' Hospital. The whereabouts of Bob Geldof remain unknown
It seems our great voyage is at an end. Thank you for joining me on this proud morning. So long, and thanks for all the dead fish
