Thread by @squidlarkin

I can't decide which pisses me off more about TERFs, their insistence that they're the victims or their insistence that I hate lesbians

neither claim is remotely grounded in reality but they just. keep. insisting.

if I hate lesbians so much then why the hell would I call myself a lesbian

I love women. I love women who love women. I even love cis women who only love other cis women because it isn't about me, it's about the whole inclusive lesbian community and I love that it exists

lesbianism isn't about hating men, it's about femininity being attracted to femininity in all its forms

it's a possibility space that includes an enormous range of identities and sexualities because humanity is so diverse

you can draw your own boundaries in that space, saying "THIS is what I am, THIS is what I'm interested in", and that's great

you don't get to define what it means for anyone else. you don't get to tell people they don't belong because they don't match your preferences

but that's exactly what TERFs have done. they've roped off this narrow corner of sapphic space and said "we're the real lesbians. none of the rest of you are. just us"

and now if anyone else tries to claim the label they start screaming about being erased

they insist that orientation is based on assigned sex. which makes no sense, but they have to believe it, it's their dogma

so trans women are men, and can't be lesbians. anyone attracted to us? not a lesbian. anyone who doesn't want us excluded? a traitor to lesbianism

if they find our presence distasteful, that's fine. they could just ignore us and we could still coexist, but no. they won't tolerate our presence. they won't tolerate others tolerating us.

and thus, the paradox of tolerance: for the space to be inclusive, they must be excluded

"look what you made me do" is abuser logic, and they know that and will cling to it, like they'll cling to anything that makes them look like victims

but they've literally made us do this. and by "us" I don't mean trans women, but the entire inclusive lesbian community

there's room here for cis women and trans women and nonbinary people who are attracted to cis women or trans women or nonbinary people in any permutation

but there's no room for hate, or transphobia, or the invalidation of identities

no room for TERFs. they will not be missed.

P.S. to all the transphobes being deliberately obtuse: I said "femininity in all its forms". not performative femininity, not presentation. simply being a woman is a form of femininity

butches count too, and the only reason I didn't say so is because I thought it was obvious