CORGI PALADIN: I'm going to grab that book and bite it and shake it!
CHEETAH ROGUE: I try to grab the paladin.
CORGI: IF YOU DO I WILL WIGGLE
CORGI: I get possessed by an ancient evil?
BUFFALO: And that will be ADORABLE.
CENTIPEDE ASSASSIN: It'll be just precious.
BUFFALO: Books came off the shelves, right?
GM: ...yes. They're wall-mounted shelves.
BUFFALO: I tear the shelf off the wall and use it as a shield.
BUFFALO: Module didn't cover this, did it?
GM: You're being followed by a horde of flying books and being harassed by chairs.
GM: What do you do?
BUFFALO: Sorry, I was just savoring the phrase "harassed by chairs."
CHEETAH: Fine, fine...
CORGI: I charge into the room and begin herding the chairs!
GM: The chairs are unimpressed.
BUFFALO: Ooh, bend down a corner! That'll teach it!
TOAD HEALER: Does anyone have a highlighter?
CORGI: Hey now, we're supposed to be the good guys.
CORGI: I trip the chairs!
GM: Well, that's what corgis do...
CHEETAH: Can't we just burn the room?
BUFFALO: I hate burning libraries. I just don't feel like the good guys.
BUFFALO: Hmm, if we kill the table, we can use it to block the door.
CORGI: I nip at the table legs to make it chase me!
GM: ...I gotta go take care of the chickens.
BUFFALO: I'm willing to get in a headbutting contest with that table. You think I won't?
CHEETAH: Now give me the book--no, give it to me--release the book--
CHEETAH: Release the book!
BUFFALO: You mean "Drop it!"
CORGI: I HATE YOU ALL SO MUCH i drop the book
CHEETAH: What does it do?
GM: It falls down and burns.
CHEETAH: Does it light any other books on fire?
GM: You know, you could just...there is one object they're trying to get to...you could just...
PARTY: You mean the evil book?
BUFFALO: No way, man, it's worth money.
GM: It says "This Book Is A Trap."
BUFFALO: I turn the page.
GM: *recites directions for how the book is a trap*
BUFFALO: Okay, but is there a reset function so that we get an army of tame books? Because I want that.
BUFFALO: Dammit. Someone write down that address.
GM: NOW will you destroy the book?
BUFFALO: *sigh* CORGI, do YOU want to destroy the book?
CORGI: I WILL NOM IT TO DEATH
GM: Would anyone else like to attack it?
BUFFALO: I could headbutt it.
BUFFALO: BECAUSE FUCK YOU THAT'S HOW
BUFFALO: I'm a little disappointed no one tried to seduce the chair.
TOAD: On the carpet...
GM (wearily): As is the corgi way.
BUFFALO: Goddammit. If we'd kept the book, we could throw it on a golem so the chairs would attack them instead. Hmm. Y'know...look, we know the rooms are full of things that want to kill us, right?
TOAD: I see no way this plan can go horribly, horribly wrong.
CHEETAH: Yeah, I'm with TOAD and her sarcasm...
BUFFALO: ...let's not go in there.
CHEETAH: Yeah, let's just that close that now.
CHEETAH: *attempts to pick the lock, fails* Okay, BUFFALO, all yours.
BUFFALO: *headbutts door until it opens* They used to call me the Crowbar in college!
CHEETAH: Shut the door! Shut the door!
BUFFALO: I regret to inform you I bashed it down with my head. We can't shut it.
CHEETAH: ...you make a valid point.
GM: Do you have Scrounging...or Alchemy...or something...
CENTIPEDE: Is there one I can wear like a space helmet!?
GM: ...sure. Why not.