This does not bode well.
It's not just China, pal.
Okay A: No.
B: Seriously, No.
C: Shut up.
You've never paid down debt in your life.
ORLY. Tell us more. I DARE YOU.
Eesh. Oh no. Also ew.
Jesus, dude. Stop.
I'm going to set something on fire.
#Trump: Well, you take a look around the world and socialism isn't exactly riding high.
I LOVE YOU, REPORTER, WHOEVER YOU ARE.
#Trump: Well I didn't like Roy Moore. Let's get that straight.
Right because that's what we're talking about.
I love this. Thank you reporter, whoever you are.
#Trump I don't know. I have to watch. I do know that one woman's lawyer is a scumbag. I'm going to see what happens tomorrow. I'm going to see what's said.
Any excuse to watch TV, right?
If. The. Republicans. Win. Tomorrow.
Because it's all a game show.
#Trump: I've been watching for a long time and these are good people. There are lots of not good people who never got brought up.
He thinks he's appointing someone to the SENATE?
Oh my god.
Dude is losing his sh*t.
Time to end this, Trump handlers.
#Trump: There's evidence. We have evidence. It isn't just, like, coming from nowhere. I saw on TV that China has much respect for Donald Trump and his very very large...uh...brain.
He really just said that.
#Trump: I'm talking to him. We've had a good talk. He said he has a lot of respect for me...There was no collusion and no obstruction. I fight back. I mean if you call that obstruction, that's fine.
Did...did he just admit to obstruction?
#Trump: My enemies, sure. But they're not going to beat me. I'm against what they want to do. I'm in favor of law enforcement. And safety and security and low taxes. And borders!
Dude has forgotten where he is.
This is getting so ugly.
Narrator: It was not a softball.
And now he's reliving the election.
Yes. Yes we are. But not in the way you seem to think, assface.
#Trump: We defeated ISIS a short while ago in the middle east. We had help from the Kurds and we're going to discuss that situation. We've already discussed that situation.
#Trump: Yeah, because he won't move on the deal. We might start taxing their cars soon. They've treated us very badly. Dairy products! 300%! How do you sell a dairy product at 300%?
You don't even know what dairy products are.
#Trump: I don't like NAFTA. I refuse to use the name NAFTA. I don't like the name NAFTA. I won't use it.
Because the best way to prove you won't do something is to do it over and over again.
What the actual frick is going on.
You know, just in case you weren't disgusted enough already.
I'd call this the Upside Down but that would be insulting to the Upside Down.
#Trump: That's fake news.
Dude. There's VIDEO.
Oh, honey. Your delusions would be cute if you weren't such a raging disgusting asshat.
Donnie needs a nap.
#Trump If Israelis and Palestinians want one state, that's okay with me. If they want two states, it's okay with me. I'm a facilitator!
Someone has been reading his word of the day toilet paper.
HOLY HELL, THIS IS BRAND NEW INFORMATION! </sarcasm>
Or because the entire world wants to make it stop.
President Moon is not the President of China.
Your people have started filming "news" for you to watch, haven't they.
I'm not even kidding. That's a thing that happened.
ase. But now it's "guilty until proven innocent but I look forward to hearing what she has to say."
And with that, Li'l Donnie flees the podium.
Okay maybe not *flees*, more like *trundles away*.