Midnight trip to A&E because I cut my finger doing the washing up. Yes mate!!!
I've got it wrapped in fucking packing tape. Just so fucking delighted. And just realised I left my wallet at home. #blessed 
There was a crazy amount of blood and some light gore. It's super minor in the grand scheme and something I'm very embarrassed to go wait in an emergency dept for 4 hours with BUT my fingerprint is no more so I can restart my life as a cat burglar.
Oh and ah haven't mentioned the packing tape is applied around the most absorbent material we had in the house, which was a breast pad. Already rehearsing my "funny story, doc" patter in advance.
Also remaining vigilant for every conceivable pronunciation of my name. "See-ah-mayse Orally?"
Done. LOVE YOUR NHS.
Seriously. 15 minutes start to finish. Friendly, funny, patient staff who joked as they showed me how to dress a wound and the joy of superglue as a wound sealant. And gave me bits of gauze to take home. The NHS is genuinely one of humanity's crowning achievements.
Ps. Avert your eyes if you don't wanna see something gross. That's my finger that is.
Oh and I got a tetanus shot in my arse. Fifteen minutes I was there for!!!
