It was only banter. Of course. Snowflake women are easily confused. I remember when my boss wrote me a long, explicit letter. Banter. The work meeting with a man whose opening line was “what are the chances we’ll be rolling around in a hotel room in an hour?” #onlybanter
The interviewee who extracted my number from the PR company and wouldn’t stop calling. The colleague who lunged & then accused me of leading him on. The MP who texted about my boots. During Prime Minister’s question time. #onlybanter
I remember so many examples of banter, I couldn’t possibly list them all here. And sure I’ve forgotten many more examples. Either because it’s #onlybanter and doesn’t matter or because one way to cope with the reality of routine unwanted sexual approaches is to try to ignore them
The media likes to find women of my age to tell younger women they’re weak and should tough it out like we did. It’s #onlybanter. What a load of bollocks. It took me too long to realise that surviving within the system enables the system to survive
Too many men I know, including men I like very much, are poor allies in #MeToo. I suspect some fear they’ve done something inappropriate in the past. And they may have. We’re all products of a culture that framed everyday sexism and harassment as #onlybanter
To those men I say stop being defensive & start defending women. And to older women who coped by telling themselves it was #onlybanter, look around. For all the supposed progress, younger women are still enduring what we did, and many without the resources or choice to speak out
If you agree with me that it’s not #onlybanter, what are you going to do about it? I co-founded @WEP_UK as part of my response to this question. My suggestion: work with us or other organisations tackling the structural inequalities that underpin #MeToo
