This thread is for all the hetro men out there confused by #Metoo
Let me start by saying I'm not here to attack you
Many men simply have no frame of reference to understand why some of the things they might do are problematic
In general men, even small men, are stronger than us
So to help you understand what I'm talking about. I've prepared some examples. Imagine yourself in each situation. Then the next time you interact with a woman think of how you would perceive your own behaviour if a man that intimidated you was behaving that way towards you.
Ex 1: You are dancing at a club. A large man comes up from behind & grabs you. He grinds his pelvis into your bottom & kisses your neck. You push him away, telling him you aren't interested but he persists. Groping you roughly, while his buddies laugh on the side lines.
Ex 2: Your Supervisor, a man you find physically imposing, invites you to his house for an evening meeting. He answers the door in his robe. You quickly figure out it's a meeting for two. Your job is at stake, you want nothing to do with what he has in mind but can't upset him.
Ex 3: You get on the bus after a long day at work. Your back is stiff, your feet are throbbing & you're hungry. A man twice your size sits down beside you. He presses the length of his body against yours. Turning to you he begins commenting on what a nice body you have. 1/2
You get off the bus a stop early but he follows you. "Hey don't you ignore me. What you think you're better than me" he shouts. Now you have to find somewhere public to go or he will know where you live. 2/2
Ex 4: Your long time friend suddenly starts acting strange. He comes to you, tells you he is upset, he has been working so hard to get you to see what a great guy he is, how perfect you are for each other. But you're just a snob that can't see the nice guy right in front of them.
So here's the truth fellas: Not every woman you want to be with feels the same. They just don't & shouldn't have to. No one should. I know you think of yourself as a nice guy. However to the women you interact with on a day to day basis, you may very well be intimidating.
Women are not machines you put kindness coins into until sex falls out - Silvia Plath
As women we live our lives in a state of constant threat assessment
Many of us will still be assaulted in our lifetime
Often by someone we know
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