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John Bull
@garius
, 3 tweets, 2 min read Read on Twitter
Okay kids: It's the weekend. If I don't see/hear AT LEAST one more actual recording of one of those Brexit musical numbers by 9pm Sunday, then y'all are blocked.

I didn't write them just so you could READ them.
Reminder of the full list:

Rees-Mogg 'Be Prepared':
Cooper/Boles 'Can You feel the love tonight?':
Michael Gove's 'Let it Go':
Barnier/Tusk/The EU Commission 'Be Our Guest':
(Oh, and I do have a Gove version without the Eldritch Screams Just DM me if you need it)
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More from @garius see all

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John Bull
@garius
<Brussels>

MAY: Plan for today?
LIDINGTON: More nationalistic flailing?
MAY: Ha bloody ha. If I'd wanted sarcasm I'd have brought Phil instead of leaving him in charge

<outside Calais>

STEPHEN: She's going to kill us. Again.
HAMMOND: Oh pipe down Cameron. Leave this to Ferris.
<outside Calais>

STEPHEN: Why won't they let us through?!
HAMMOND: Don't know. Stay with Chris's lorry. I'll find out
GRAYLING: Hello!
STEPHEN: Why did we bring this thing anyway?
HAMMOND: Lidington wouldn't lend us the Volvo and Chris insisted
GRAYLING: My CB tag is Papa Ducky!
<Brussels>

MAY: What if we dropped ALL tariffs?
LIDINGTON: That sounds bad
MAY: Let's at least run it past Phil

<Calais>

STEPHEN: What if she calls the office?!
HAMMOND: I left a backstop

MAY <phone>: Phil!
RECORDING: Hello
MAY: If we...
RECORDING: It's a shit idea

<click>
Read 19 tweets
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John Bull
@garius
<May and Barnier at a table. ‘Be Our Guest’ starts playing>

BARNIER <sings>

Ma Cherie, it is with deepest pride and greatest pleasure that we welcome you back. And now we invite you to relax, let us pull up a chair, as the EU Commission proudly considers…

reopening your deal
Be.
Our.
Guest.
Be our guest
Put our resolve to the test
Tie that noose around your neck, Therese
Let history do the rest.
Open up
The talks again
Though you still don’t have a plan
Our negotiators here are vicious
Don't believe? Ask Varoufakis
Read 16 tweets
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John Bull
@garius
<A lone figure stands in Parliament Square. It sings.>

ThE sNOw gLOwS WhITe oVeR WhitEHall toNIGht
nOT a sTAteSMan tO Be seEn
UnITEd KinGDom ISolatED
a PM wHo THInks sHe’s a QUEen
BaCK bENchES hOWliNg liKE THis snOW stORm nOW oUTsidE
COuldN'T keEP it IN, HEaveN knoWS I've trIEd
DOn't LEt thEM in, DOn't let THem sEE
Be tHE HorROR, yoU alwAYs haVE to BE
ConCEal, dON't feEL, Don't let THEm knOW

WeLL, NOw thEY KNow...
I AM GoVE! I am GOve!
CAn't hoLD it bAck ANYmoRe.
I am GovE! I am goVe!
SHed thIS skiN aND taKE the floOR.
i DOn't cAre whAT tHEy're GOinG tO sAY!
Let THis stORm raGE oN.

EldriTCH cOld nEvEr bOtherEd mE anyWAy.
Read 8 tweets

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Lord Snoutintrough #FBPE
@Rowland72James
As a remainer I scratch my head as to why #Brexit continues to enjoy significant support despite overwhelming evidence its a really bad idea so thought I'd offer a psychological explanation for its appeal to some of its supporters which simply cannot lie in objective reality
I have no knowledge experience or professional qualifications in psychology whatsoever but as this is #brexit Britain this means I know more than professionals like @RichardBentall so offer my brexpertise on the psychological appeal of Brexit confident in my total ignorance
Being a Brexiter means being part of a huge crowd where not only are you all cheering for the same thing but this crowd permits and even encourages behaviour and attitudes which are normally forbidden and some brexiters at least feel liberated from decency and reason
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katya adler
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No10 says EU must decide if it will release a letter of assurances before the vote on Tuesday but EU sources tell me they are waiting for the go-ahead advice from Downing Street 1
The letter could have been released Saturday night ahead of No10 Sunday media blitz but wasn’t .. It could be released tonight or tomorrow ahead of vote .. OR EU/No10 may decide better not since 2
The EU letter will I’m told contain assurances/explanations of current deal and nothing new. The letter would come from Juncker/Tusk in Brussels and they can’t change the #Brexit deal without negotiation with and go ahead from 27 EU leaders 3
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katya adler
@BBCkatyaadler
1) Ambassadors of 27 EU governments expected to see draft of political declaration on post #brexit EU-UK future this morning. Should start leaking out soon after if that is the case ..
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Femi
@Femi_Sorry
Brexit Irony No.521:
Brexit would make Metropolitan Elitism worse-

The Brexit vote was against our London-centric system. So if there's an economic hit because of a Brexit London voted against, Westminster would make sure the London Banking sector survived but everywhere else...
Many of the problems that pushed people to vote Brexit had nothing to do with the EU. One of those problems was the government choosing to protect the banks who caused the crash with bailouts while ordinary people just got austerity.
The rich took irresponsible risks with the country's future, but they were protected either by moving their money away or by the government and it was those with least who suffered the most.
Sound familiar? #Brexit
Read 5 tweets
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Pete North
@PeteNorth303
One thing leavers were right about is that it's a lot easier to give power away than it is to get back. Having done so without consent we now see that we gave away more than our politicians realised. That's why they're not trusted and that's why compromise is impossible.

#Brexit
2. They tried to fob us off by telling us that no further powers would be given away but every piece of legislation passed by the EU is on some level an erosion of national sovereignty. All of it happening off the radar - adopting laws through statutory instrument.
3. That's why nobody believed Cameron when he said we could opt out of ever closer union. Nobody can make that claim. It's in the DNA of the EU and if you are a member then that is what you are subscribed to. Voters may influence the pace, but not the destination.
Read 12 tweets
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Glen O'Hara
@gsoh31
Okay, we've got far enough now that we can see No. 10's #Brexit strategy. /Thread
It's basically to bring things to a head as late as humanly possible - December to late January. At that stage they will squeeze Tory rebels with (among Euroenthusiasts) 'it's this or chaos' and (among Eurosceptics) 'it's this or no Brexit at all'.
Early signs - this will help with the pro-Europeans. Will probably work there. With the Eurosceptics? You can squeeze them, but probably not below 20-30, surely.
Read 9 tweets

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