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I spoke at a UMC conference once, years ago. Participants had read my book and asked me to speak about LGBTQ inclusion. I did. I got verbally attacked, for (it felt like) an hour. It was the worst experience I've ever had leading a conference, and I've led hundreds....
While on stage, I looked at the organizers & table of people who had asked me to speak about LGBTQ rights and asked, "Are you going to do anything about this? Are you going to just let them attack like this? Is anyone my side here?" They looked at me like they had never seen me.
Like they hadn't asked me to speak about it. The anger against me was so intense, I thought there was going to be physical violence.
Later, we went out to dinner. I didn't want to go. I felt totally betrayed. But I had to eat. They ignored me at the dinner table. I asked them why they had not spoken up. They said that they had to work with these people for the rest of their careers.
(UMC pastors are often geographically bound.) So they couldn't speak up. It made me realize how difficult the system is to change.
I'm still a bit shaken from that day... and like I said, it's been years... but I recall it now, as I know a lot of people will be feeling the same things. Except they will not be straight outsiders, like I was. They will feel the attacks in their gut and their bones.
So my prayer is for them. The courageous ones, who reject the path of the careerist, who will speak with shaking voice. The ones who know that justice is more important than the impact on pensions. That lives mean more than property loss. My prayer is for those who long to love.
