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Laws of Brexit # 1
Brexit means Brexit (we won, so get over it)
Brexit means Brexit (we won, so get over it)
Laws of Brexit # 2
WTO is the genie of trade. The mere mention of its name will see goods and services flowing smoothly and tariff-free, just like they do in every other country.
WTO is the genie of trade. The mere mention of its name will see goods and services flowing smoothly and tariff-free, just like they do in every other country.
Laws of Brexit # 3
Put any three Brexiters in a room, and they will emerge with at least four versions of Brexit. None of which they will implement, of course. You see, Brexiters don't get their hands dirty with the last 1% of the process. It's so trivial, it's beneath them.
Put any three Brexiters in a room, and they will emerge with at least four versions of Brexit. None of which they will implement, of course. You see, Brexiters don't get their hands dirty with the last 1% of the process. It's so trivial, it's beneath them.
Laws of Brexit # 4
The 2016 referendum represents the largest democratic mandate ever, because turnout in the Scottish Referendum, many past GEs, and the total number of votes cast in the 1992 GEs don't count.
The 2016 referendum represents the largest democratic mandate ever, because turnout in the Scottish Referendum, many past GEs, and the total number of votes cast in the 1992 GEs don't count.
Laws of Brexit # 5
The closer we get to Brexit Day, the more Brexiters will claim they're channelling the view of "everyone who voted to Leave" when demanding we leave the EU without a deal.
The closer we get to Brexit Day, the more Brexiters will claim they're channelling the view of "everyone who voted to Leave" when demanding we leave the EU without a deal.
Laws of Brexit # 6
17.4 million people represent a majority of an electorate of 46,500,0001. It also represents a majority of a population of 65 million.
17.4 million people represent a majority of an electorate of 46,500,0001. It also represents a majority of a population of 65 million.
Laws of Brexit # 7
"Will of the People" is the equivalent of QED at the end of a scientific proof.
"Will of the People" is the equivalent of QED at the end of a scientific proof.
Laws of Brexit # 8
If Brexit's not succeeding, it's because you're not believing in it hard enough.
If Brexit's not succeeding, it's because you're not believing in it hard enough.
Laws of Brexit # 9
All of the following are believed to be in cahoots to block the One True Brexit: remainers, judges, Labour, MPs in general, the Lords, the Queen, mass media, experts, economists, business leaders, facts, statistics, the EU, did we mention the EU, oh and the EU!
All of the following are believed to be in cahoots to block the One True Brexit: remainers, judges, Labour, MPs in general, the Lords, the Queen, mass media, experts, economists, business leaders, facts, statistics, the EU, did we mention the EU, oh and the EU!
Laws of Brexit # 10
What do experts know? They only have knowledge and experience to go by. You have Brexit.
What do experts know? They only have knowledge and experience to go by. You have Brexit.
Laws of Brexit # 11
It is impossible to predict the future, because it hasn't happened yet. (I always look outside to see if it's raining.)
It is impossible to predict the future, because it hasn't happened yet. (I always look outside to see if it's raining.)
Laws of Brexit # 12
Things that happened in the past that I don't like are *fake news*. Moon landing? Pah! Manchester United won their match the other day? Who are you trying to kid, mate?
Things that happened in the past that I don't like are *fake news*. Moon landing? Pah! Manchester United won their match the other day? Who are you trying to kid, mate?
Laws of Brexit # 13
Irish border? Just a red line on a map, innit.
Irish border? Just a red line on a map, innit.
Laws of Brexit # 14
Eton and Oxford educated millionaires and hedge fund owners are perfectly representative of the average person in Britain.
Eton and Oxford educated millionaires and hedge fund owners are perfectly representative of the average person in Britain.
Laws of Brexit # 15
Democracy is dead if we have a second referendum, especially if we lose it.
Democracy is dead if we have a second referendum, especially if we lose it.
Laws of Brexit # 16
We can time travel back to 1975 if we leave the EU, but only the good bits.
We can time travel back to 1975 if we leave the EU, but only the good bits.
Laws of Brexit # 17
The best way to ingratiate ourselves with our largest European trading partner is to keep talking about the war. Reminiscing - such fun!
The best way to ingratiate ourselves with our largest European trading partner is to keep talking about the war. Reminiscing - such fun!
Laws of Brexit # 18
The less you understand Brexit, the more you must talk about it in military terms.
The less you understand Brexit, the more you must talk about it in military terms.
Laws of Brexit # 19
There's no such thing as Too Much Boris Johnson.
There's no such thing as Too Much Boris Johnson.
Laws of Brexit # 20
GATT Article 24 is a thing when it comes to Brexit. Honest, it is. Maybe if you think of it as Article XXIV?
GATT Article 24 is a thing when it comes to Brexit. Honest, it is. Maybe if you think of it as Article XXIV?
Laws of Brexit # 21
Pointing out that demographic changes since the referendum favour Remain is the same as wishing old people dead. "Why not just go the whole hog, and kill them yourself?"
Pointing out that demographic changes since the referendum favour Remain is the same as wishing old people dead. "Why not just go the whole hog, and kill them yourself?"
Laws of Brexit # 22
It said "Brexit Day is fixed as 29 March 2019" on the 2016 referendum ballot paper, in letters so faint only a dog could see them.
It said "Brexit Day is fixed as 29 March 2019" on the 2016 referendum ballot paper, in letters so faint only a dog could see them.
Laws of Brexit # 23
Chris Grayling is a transport Demi-God.
Chris Grayling is a transport Demi-God.
Laws of Brexit # 24
The EU is such a weak, failing institution, it risks collapsing if you blow on it.
The EU is such a weak, failing institution, it risks collapsing if you blow on it.
Laws of Brexit # 25
The EU are bullies that keep bossing us around, and dictating terms to Theresa May.
The EU are bullies that keep bossing us around, and dictating terms to Theresa May.
Laws of Brexit # 26
Our reality is better than your reality, because ours is British reality!
Our reality is better than your reality, because ours is British reality!
Laws of Brexit # 27
Every time you deny Brexit, a unicorn dies. Murderer!
Every time you deny Brexit, a unicorn dies. Murderer!
Laws of Brexit # 28
International law is more of a suggestion.
International law is more of a suggestion.
Laws of Brexit # 29
Two Brexits enter, one Brexit leaves.
Two Brexits enter, one Brexit leaves.
Laws of Brexit # 30
It is normal for your friends to pay for your private jet travel. What are friends for?
It is normal for your friends to pay for your private jet travel. What are friends for?
Laws of Brexit # 31
Exaggeration and mistaken predictions are much, much worse than criminal lawbreaking. Don't even look at me with those Remainer eyes!
Exaggeration and mistaken predictions are much, much worse than criminal lawbreaking. Don't even look at me with those Remainer eyes!
Laws of Brexit # 32
The hardness of the most desirable Brexit increases exponentially as we get closer to Brexit Day.
The hardness of the most desirable Brexit increases exponentially as we get closer to Brexit Day.
Laws of Brexit # 33
One day, we'll all be dead.
/ENDS
One day, we'll all be dead.
/ENDS
Here's an enhanced and tidied up version, "The 40 Laws of Brexit". You can download it as a PDF from the link below...
drive.google.com/file/d/1nyNAqx…
drive.google.com/file/d/1nyNAqx…
