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When I lost my job at ArenaNet, women in the video game industry PayPal-ed me money. (Many other people helped me too.) I mostly managed to leave it alone while I was unemployed, in case of emergency. Once I got a job, I started using it for donations.
(I also used it for a year's subscription to the Washington Post, because journalism is important.)
And I was just thinking how much of a difference it made to how I was feeling. First, to know that people cared. Second, to know that I had a safety net if I wasn't getting enough freelance. And third, to know that it hadn't taken my power to give to others.
Selfishly, it matters to me and to who I see myself as to be able to rage donate, to grief donate, to sympathy donate. It makes me feel like I'm not powerless.
And I can't give to all the people who need it, but I do want to say to people who *ask* on here and elsewhere when they're in need, if you are afraid or ashamed to ask for yourself, do it for others, because *being able to help,* even a little bit, is feeling empowered.
And for someone who's feeling helpless overall, but has a spare $20, knowing that as helpless as they feel in the face of what's happening to them, they can still help someone else, that can turn around that feeling.
And yeah, it fucking sucks that this is all so transactional, but we live in this capitalist hellscape, so.
Anyway, please never be ashamed to ask for help.
And to everyone who helped me, thank you for the love that you gave into my keeping.
