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"Kinks and fetishes don't belong at pride" - A thread by me, a kinkster who has been going to pride for years and has a few things to say on the matter. ❤️🏳️‍🌈
"Why?" is always my first reaction. What do kinks mean to you that you that kinksters don't deserve to be represented when our identities are so entwined with our kinks? Kinksters have been at the forefront of fighting for our rights since the beginning. We have lost people too.
"Kinksters aren't part of the LGBTQ+ community!" - Community is a flawed and overused word, but it's the best we have sometimes. Kinksters teach classes, do outreach, fundraise, and are accepting of all the intersections of identities that exist under LGBTQ+, where's the inverse?
When our communities were affected by an epidemic, drag queens, bikers, lesbians, bi, trans, gay and every overlap possible came together to try and help the community. Kinksters too, were some of the loudest clubs who made sure we took care of each other no matter what.
We made sure our leathers and possessions found loving homes when previous owners passed away without wills; we made sure to document queer history, tell the stories, spread awareness and be loud. If even a fraction of those ethics made it into pride, I would be proud.
"Kinksters are into scary and debaucherous sex!" - THANK YOU! I take pride in many of my kinks, but they're not all scary and I bet you could learn a thing or two from them. Kinks are a beautiful connection between my identity around sex and my identity around who I am socially.
Kinksters show a deep trust and understanding of the most intimate parts of themselves and share that with others. We tap into our spiritual, emotional and physical selves but do so with consent, negotiation and fun. Vanilla people could learn a thing or two about consent.
"Well pride isn't about sex" - Pride is, among other things, a defence of sexual freedom, the very nature of what kinksters want in our world. As we continue to lose freedoms online and spaces in the real world, we want nothing but to defend what we love and have pride about.
Pride is a sexual space we can be ourselves and in our current climate, thanks #Sesta #Fosta. This Pink stripe in the flag stands for Sex. Pride events should be inclusive, but sex has been there all along. So I feel like that is an exact point of a pride, being sexually free.
"But think of the children" - This isn't an excuse for the children, but adults who think parenting is someone else's job. It's not an excuse when you know exactly what you're bringing the children to. Pride should be fun, but the gays are not a spectacle, we are celebrating.
Pride is as much about politics and activism, representation and being sexual yourself, as it is about celebrating family. So if you haven't talked to your children about birds and bees, best do that before pride where they could see a number of sexually expressive floats.
Further, by standing in a harness, or wearing a puppy hood, I’m not being sexual or asking anyone to join in my kinks, I’m being myself and wearing what gives me pride and if you are sexualizing that about me, maybe we should grab a drink and talk some more ;).
Maybe we need more “family spaces” or “chill zones” for those that don’t like the loud craziness, but if we don’t find a way to accomodate all of us I worry "family friendly values" will destroy pride altogether. Values that paint all sex as bad are already sweeping the internet.
Personally, I can’t think of a greater betrayal to what Pride is about than allowing our identities to be censored by corporations that we allow in pride and are just trying to make a quick buck. Please tell me where kinksters are allowed, because sexual spaces are disappearing.
So I will end with one last question. When corporate machines are more welcome in our pride parades than the community members that have been fighting with us from the beginning what does that say about pride?

Everyone is welcome at pride, but Kinksters belong at pride.
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