Thread by @Doc_0

The logical endpoint of Democrats' shrill rhetoric on illegal immigration is safe and comfortable transportation, funded by the U.S. taxpayer, for the entire population of Central America to migrate if it so desires. We can't have migrants dying on the journey, can we?

We can't build facilities to house even unaccompanied minors who cross the border - the Democrats won't hear of it! The only recourse is to keep families together in their countries of origin as they board mass transportation provided by the United States.

We can't make migrants suffer in detention facilities while their claims are processed - that's a moral outrage! Everyone who wishes to cross the border must be allowed to do so, indeed *assisted* in doing so. Why should that "right" be limited to Central Americans?

The current migration system relies on criminal gangs who take what little money these poor economic refugees have and often abuse them during the journey. How can compassionate Democrats allow this? We should be ferrying those people across Mexico with U.S. military transports!

Of course, we all know the security risk from terrorists and gangs infiltrating the U.S. is a figment of Republican imaginations, just like the border crisis was six months ago. Bring them all in, and we'll figure out who's who once they're safe.

Worried about migrants serving as a conduit for drugs? The only compassionate way to solve that problem is to provide them with safe, managed transportation courtesy of the U.S. taxpayer. We'll search them before they board the C-130s.

Why not expect the migrants to apply properly for immigration from their home countries, you ask? Well, leaving them in those hellish conditions for years while paperwork is shuffled would be utterly inhumane. They'll just go back to paying smugglers to escape to America.

These are people who think AOC's "concentration camps" are preferable to the terrible places they come from. That means their homes are WORSE than concentration camps! How can we leave them rotting there in good conscience?

No, nothing will do except the greatest air and boatlift in human history, bringing everyone who wants to cross the border Democrats view as an anachronistic symbol of white supremacy into the welcoming arms of compassionate America.

What about crime and disease? Well, the Democrats have already made it very clear that a few American lives are a small price to pay for all the foreign nationals who can be helped by mass migration. It's literally not worth mentioning the Americans lost to this noble crusade.

I know the question burning in many minds right now: how do we PAY for transporting millions of people across the hemisphere? That's the really brilliant part: migrants are such a huge economic asset that the program will more than pay for itself!

When you think about it, we're actually cheating ourselves by leaving so many dreamers to languish in countries that underutilize them, leaving them mired in poverty for reasons Democrats would rather not discuss, unless they can blame it on global warming.

The cost of air and sea transportation would be negligible compared to the benefits. We could use the profits from transporting all of Central America to launch even more ambitious program to cover South America, Africa, and the Middle East.

Speaking of global warming, some of you might be wondering if bringing tens of millions of people from the Third World into the U.S. would dangerously increase our carbon footprint, increasing our energy emissions and pollution.

I think you're all forgetting about a little thing called the Green New Deal! Soon life in America will be MORE sustainable than in the Third World. We'll be REDUCING the carbon footprint of migrants by bringing them into the New Green America.

How can any Democrat with the strength of their convictions fail to call for this sure-fire winner of a plan to HELP migrants, instead of merely rewarding the winners of a brutal game run by gangsters and drug lords? Let the slogan be "Move the World!" YES WE CAN! /end