Thread by @rachelcoldicutt

This is worth reading. US parents who have forgotten how to play or exist without their phones are hiring phone-free parenting coaches. nytimes.com/2019/07/06/sty…

Now: why is everyone doing this despite their being no scientific evidence that screentime is bad for children? (See theguardian.com/commentisfree/…)

I have not one, but two hot takes about this, so buckle in.

1) Screentime may or may not be bad for children, but parents can see it *is* bad for families. Family life relies on *being together*: routine, ennui, casual intimacy, respect and rules, goddamit, and none of that can happen if everyone is in their own little screen bubble.

(Also no one can cope with eg whatever those weird adrenalin spikes are little kids get and it feels on some level like introducing a malevolent sprite into your house, wch is very visceral and no “screens v potatoes” evidence helps with that.)

2) Because - and I wonder if this is really it - adults feel like their phones are *definitely* bad for *them*, but just they can’t put them down, so they’re exercising arms-length parenting rights to make them feel better. Do as I say, not as I do, etc.

And it seems inescapably awful because lots of parenting (eg supervising in the playground) is boring *and* socially awkward, or requires uneven attention (lots, then zero). If you don’t like talking to ppl you don’t know, or don’t want to spend hours staring at a plastic slide

... then doing whatever you’re doing on your phone is a godsend. And relinquishing that can feel a bit panic inducing. So rather than putting your own phone down, it’s easier to mandate that your child does.

I mean, there’s probably loads more reasons, but it seems unlikely that any regulation on children and screens will proceed in line with the existing evidence, because that feels so remote from anyone’s lived experience that parents will press for tougher rules.

And that politicians will try to give parents vote-winning answers to screentime, but they won’t work because they are ineffectual fixes for the wrong problem - wch will lead in time to more unhelpful knee jerk political responses theguardian.com/media/2018/sep…

In conclusion: perhaps there needs to be different independent research - perhaps into modern family dynamics? - that recommends new habits for *parents* rather than for children? And then maybe we can all stop guessing.