Thread by @Osi_Suave

Relationships and Marriages actually take a toll on the man

The Toll that they never talk about.

Let me try to break it down.

Most women will say they do alot of emotional and unpaid labour like running the house and tending to the kids.

Which is had work in itself

And complain that most men just drop money and cross their legs.

This is where it now gets tricky.

You meet a man that has

A cook
A laundry man
A house keeper

Automatically you have to now step up your contribution in that partnership

Cos he wont be moved by

Cleaning
Cooking
House keeping.

He already has this sorted before he met you.

So what are you bringing that would make that partnership work

As sad as it is

Society has socialised women to believe that learning how to cook; clean and tend to people at a young age is in preparation for your husbands house

Times are changing and this faulty premise needs to go away cos the above do not define a woman and.....

Men can either do this or get someone to do it.

I am the first of 4 kids.

3 boys and the last girl.

We all had to learn

So till today I'm hands on as regards housekeeping, groceries, and a bunch of other things.

So when a man is in a relationship

We forget the financial burden

When marriage comes

He Carries that burden as well

When the kids come

Same thing.

Its becomes a never ending cycle of paying Bill's.

You dare not say you dont have

Once there is a bill

It must be paid

It's our responsibility as men

Growing up as kids we will always have fancy clothes at a drop of a hat

I'd wonder why my dad will wear a tshirt and shorts on Christmas day and maybe just make clothes when he wants to change his wardrobe or something

But it all makes sense now that I'm older

Sacrifices

People will come with the argument of women also pay Bill's

Yes they do.

But does paying Bill's in a marriage or partnership come without resentment ?

The answer is simple

Barely

Women have this mentality of they have to be protected, spoilt and taken care of.

Which is valid

But at whose expense ?

At the end of the day who takes care of me ? I dont just exist as a pay cheque all my life

I need to believe I'm worth more than that

In an era of outsourcing

Where housework and childcare can be outsourced

What do you bring to the table

Is the question