, 5 tweets, 1 min read Read on Twitter
At a baseballing match. On the scale of 0 to 10, with 0 = "everybody to get frrrom street" and 10 = "quadruple-size this, please" , how American do I look?
(3.6="not great, not terrible", of course)
I'm certain there are words in the English language to express just how outrageously repugnant the Orioles are, but none of them were on my citizenship test.
If the entire Orioles roster doesn't get sent down to Norfolk by the middle of the 5th, we'll call it a moral victory.
Hey, an Orioles player has just batted the ball right over the player separation barrier. This is something we here in Baltimore call a "home run." Could we have a comeback on our hands?
A bunch of very white people behind me is doing their best to heckle the Rays outfielder Tommy Pham.
Their best offering so far is "Hey, Pham... so, you, like have a phamily?"
There is much to explore in the rich lore of American humor.
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