Thread by @HildaMuteshi

RESIST BEING BITTER IN LIFE
The difference between bitter people and the rest is not always that life has been fair to the rest and bad on you alone. Other people have learned to handle life situations better.

HOW DOES ONE BECOME BITTER?
1. The difference between expectations and reality leads to disappointment, constant disappointment leads to resentment towards oneself and others hence bitterness

2. Bitterness can arise from childhood, the expectations that parents should have done better in raising you or providing for needs has made people hold a grudge against them never to think that maybe they did their best

3. A kid bullied in school is likely to grow up with a low self concept, words like stupid, ugly, useless makes one grow believing they are worthless, they are likely to grow up fighting anyone, always in defense mode

4. An adult with great hope and expectations makes attempts in relationship, in businesses, in career in academics... Hits a disappointment, he or she feels not in control, becomes bitter of themselves and anyone who made it not work.

HOW BITTERNESS MANIFESTS ITSELF
1. Bitter people remember the details of what hurt them, they quote date, time venue, the number of people who witness, any cats, dogs, cars mosquitoes that were passing that time

2. When in a happy moment, bitter people have specific queues like colour, music, animals venues ...that trigger their emotions beyond control suddenly they break down or into a fight

3. Example: 2 ladies meet in a salon after 40yrs, one storms out that the other one stole her panties in highschool. She insists she won't make her hair, now 55yrs old. Thats what bitterness can do

4. Bitter people are easily irritable, its hard to tell what really hurt their feelings, its coz they have a long list of everything that ever went wrong and every point in life reminds them the worst.

5. Bitter people can not end a conflict, they don't apologize, they want to win an argument. They say its OK, but something inside tells them its not good to continue losing battles so they are back at it to prove a point

6. The desire to be in charge in control makes a bitter person more bitter. They feel like everyone is celebrating their lose. The truth is not everyone knows you or understands what you are going through

7. Life is built on relationships, but bitter people have issues with everyone who could hold their hand to the next level, they suspect that person, they want to put him or her in place. Bitter people stagnate in life

8. When a bitter person realizes they have stagnated in life, they start showing compensatory behaviors, get into unnecessary competition, want to show everyone that they have made it

HOW TO GET OVER THE BITTER YOU
1. Forgive everyone who hurt you either in childhood or adulthood
2. Try to think that they were ignorant that's why they treated you the way they did

3. Forgive yourself for all the mistakes you have made, understand that you can not change the past but can only make a better future

4. Revive your dreams, if you wanted to achieve things at age 20. Its never late to achieve at 40, 50, 60, remember to let go those that are time bound

5. Example, if you never got time to play as a kid, you can play with your kids as a sign of good parenting, if you never went to school, there is adult education

6. If you never did a house before age 30, you still have an opportunity to have one.
The future can be bright if you commit to make it so

7. You can not live by holding other people responsible for your life, yes they hurt you, it was bad, you did not deserve it but you can change the situation

8. Holding a grudge will hurt you more than the people you hold against. They have moved on, they forgot about you but you still cry in their name. They can't come back to pick your life, you. Can only pick it yourself.

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