Thread by @QuinnyPig

And now, an @awscloud Christmas thread tale:

'Twas the night before Christmas and up in Seattle
(This is covered by NDA, but I'm still going to tattle)

Engineers were all working, managers flogging them with their belts
If they wanted work/life balance they clearly would work somewhere else

Marketing folks working late at a VP's request
Giving services names that were tepid at best

The Duckbill Group was on break, and I was drinking wine
When suddenly I heard a horrible noise-- it was Chime.

I spat-took and shuddered, as anyone would
For Chime never beckons for anything good

When what to my incredulous eyes should appear
But an Amazon namer--I'm not kidding; here:

I have a chihuahua who craps in the house
A small tiny daughter and long-suffering spouse

These varied mammals have one thing the same:
Nobody at @awscloud had given them names.

"Braket and PinPoint! Macie! Cognito!"
Somehow they launched "Snowball Edge" without an @ajassy veto.

"We're launching a service that quick-drains your wallet
It's ready to go--now what the hell do we call it?

I'm sorry to take you away from your boozing
It's just like @Chef Inspec but way more confusing."

I stopped and I thought, perhaps more than I should
Nobody at @awscloud gives any service a name that is good

I suggested "well, why not call it Config Policy Rules?"
"That's way too straightforward; here we name things like fools."

"Never when naming do we measure performance
So your naming is awesome, but we'll call it 'conformance."

I'm sorry, I tried, but you'll see in your Slacks
The release of AWS's new "Conformance Packs."
aws.amazon.com/blogs/mt/intro…

My naming friend messaged as he went back to work with a whine
"Happy holidays from @awscloud, you should log out of Chime."