Thread by @RealSLokhova

Extracts from a recently-discovered 2016 diary of Agent Pientka.

Dear Diary,

What a day!
9 AM-won the competition to name which colleague leaked to which newspaper overnight
10 AM-Peter and Lisa disappear for a coffee. Leaving me in charge
11 AM-Peter and Lisa still not back

Noon- Kevin asks for my help with editing some documents. Apparently, CIA made a typo.
1 PM- Peter puts his head around the door to say he is off for working lunch with Lisa. If his wife calls, say he is catching some spy.
2 PM-Bothered by numerous calls from a heavy breather.

2.15 PM-Pervert keeps calling and breathing. Eventually, realise it's Source 2. He found 50 more Russian spies in the Trump campaign.
2.30-Peter sends text message saying he is just going to the gym for a workout with Lisa

3 PM- Conference call with journalists, give ideas for tomorrow. Today, I am 'person close to the investigation' in WashPo and 'intelligence official speaking on condition of anonymity' in NYT,
4 Pm-Peter calls to say he has to leave for an early dinner and conference with Lisa

4.30 PM- File the really important documents we must not lose in the shredder.
5 PM- Some foreigner with a funny accent calls, speaking excellent English. I ask him where he learnt it. He says "I am English. I have the Crown Jewels"
5.30 PM - Head home. Proud to have saved USA.