Thread by @StillDelvingH

#BrexitCelebration hangover
February 1st
BrexitUK: "Brexit is done! Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"
Reality: "Yes! It is! Time to start negotiating now!"
BrexitUK: "Wait, what?"
(1/n)

BrexitUK: "WTF do you mean you [insert insult of your choice] traitor! We're done with the negotiations"
Reality: "For the withdrawal agreement, yes. UK's out. Now it can start negotiating trade deals. Kind of an important point of Brexit?"
BrexitUK: "Oh, right! New Trade Deals!"

Reality: "Surely you are aware that these trade deals are going to require negotiations? And not just with the EU - There's 295 trade deals to renegotiate. 759 treaties."
BrexitUK (scratching head): "Err... Well... But.. it won't be with the undemocratic EU, so it will be easy!"

Reality:
"Sure! Let's imagine the negotiations with (eg) Trump:
UK: "So"
Trump: "America First!"
UK: "If we may"
Trump: "AMERICA FIRST!"
UK: "But.."
Trump: "TRADE WAR!"
Well as long as you shut up and agree to everything it will be fast indeed."
BrexitUK: "No but.. you [insult]"

Reality: "& that's just 1 country. I hope you realise many countries will react the same, waiting to see what kind of trade deal you can get with the EU. If you're not following the same rules as your PM suggested, you'll get crumbs. & thus have no leverage in other negotiations"

Reality: "Starting negotiations as a beggar in desperate need of a trade deal will be called 'having the upper hand' by your govt -but truly won't be."
BrexitUK: "You just don't believe in Britain! Countries will line up! We'll go WTO!"
Reality: "A synonym for 'beggar position'"

BrexitUK: "No, WTO is great!"
Reality: "WTO means your products *and* your supplies are more expensives. When was the last time you went to buy something hoping to spend more than needed?"
BrexitUK: "But they'll be a British flag on them!"
Reality: "Breaking news, no one cares."

BrexitUK: "We'll revive the Commonwealth!"
Reality: "You do know Australia & quite a few other intend to sue you over quotas, right?"
BrexitUK: "But... I don't get it! Where are our allies?"
Reality: "Well you just slammed the door in their face"
BrexitUK: "But the sunny uplands"

Reality: "Oh no worry! That will come! In 50 years, according to Rees-Mogg, and only for design, marketing and tech businesses according to the one and only pro-Brexit economist. Disaster capitalists will have a blast though"
BrexitUK: "But... but... This isn't what I voted for"

Reality: "No kidding..."
(Depressed) BrexitUK (turning back to look at itself): "You're just a scaremonger, I don't want to listen to y... Hey! Where did Scotland go? Wales -is that a suitcase you're packing? Wow someone get me through that sea border I need to speak to NI ASAP!"