👇 Thread 👇
Which is why we frame arguments like war.
We do this unconsciously.
Look at the metaphors we use.
Examples:
1. "I demolished his argument.”
2. "His criticisms were right on target."
3. "He shot down all of my arguments.”
All war metaphors.
When we frame arguments like war, we see the other person as an opponent. Somebody who must be defeated.
When all we care about is winning, we forget the most important thing: TRUTH.
We try to make the other person’s perspective as weak as possible. We laugh about their ideas and try to destroy them.
It’s a zero-sum conversation: Somebody wins, somebody loses.
This isn’t real thinking.
Assume the other person is smart and sophisticated.
Adopt their perspective. Work *with* them.
Make their argument as strong as possible.
Ask them to help you with yours.
Work towards truth — together.
“I never allow myself to have an opinion on anything that I don't know the other side's argument better than they do.”
"Don’t spend time telling yourself you’re right and other people are wrong. Try to talk about other people being wrong as little as possible.”
This perspective shift has massive benefits:
1. Deeper empathy
2. Better relationships
3. Faster rate of learning
Truth is about what’s right.” — Mike Maples
In argument, we find out who is right.
In conversation, we find out what is right.
✌
— Harry Truman
“Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with it.”
— Colin Powell
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fs.blog/2017/08/wrong-…