Start of thread: About a month ago, a colleague that self-identified as a "privileged, white male" approached me. He wanted to know what he could to to help support our diversity and inclusion effort.
As someone who hasn't been really involved, other that being female, I was caught off-guard. I admired his desire to be on the right side of things and his humility in admitting he didn't know how. And I was a bit embarrassed that I didn't have an answer.
I promised to do some thinking and get back to him. Here's what I've got so far. It's broad advice that I figured others may find useful. Take this as 3 pieces of advice from one woman. I'm not flogging a dissertation here :)
1) Tune into the little things. I think there's a knee-jerk assumption that to help a cause, you need to be out there on the front lines with big, visible statements and bold moves. Those are important. But...
But cultural change comes from the masses modifying their daily life. What little things are you doing that exclude people? When do they happen? Pick one thing at a time to work on.
BTW, some colleagues of mine have been experimenting with this: pivotaltracker.com/blog/changing-…
2) Become more self-aware. This is an emotional intelligence 101 and it absolutely will help. I can't tell you how many private eyeroll moments I've had from dealing with a male colleague that clearly had no idea how they were coming across.
Bottom line: You can't change something you don't even see or understand. It's not about judging yourself - just go all Jane Goodall on yo' self! And its apparently a good leadership skill. So there. forbes.com/sites/ellevate…
3) Ask for feedback. Self-awareness on your own can be hard. Asking for feedback can unlock a lot of unsaid things & give you something to observe in yourself. After a meeting, ask a female colleague for their feedback. Listen. No matter what they say, thank them for their candor
On asking for feedback, I loved this article: wsj.com/articles/do-yo…
I’m a fan of lists of 3 (easier to keep track of mentally), but curious if folks have other tips or ideas for men who want to help but don’t know how or where to start?
Maybe it’s the optimist in me, but I would much rather champion and support the men out there that are and want to be agents of progress, than spend any energy on agents of harm (conscious or oblivious). Let’s celebrate everyday heroes and attract more to the team!
I’m reluctant to call folks out for risk of accidentally omitting someone, but in the spirit of celebrating the men out there who are agents of progress, I’ve been lucky to work for and with quite a few...
So here goes: thank you for making positive efforts, being self-aware, and listening: @nrouda @rwhiteley0 @mikecucchi @IanAndrewsDC @rseroter @badnima @jmckenty @caseywest
Thank you for asking for my help, as a true peer and/or team lead, and for being a delight to work with: @duncanlord @JagMirani @jeffreyfkelly @dbbaskette @GregChase @PatrickCiPaaS @jaredruckle @moredeploys @PieterHumphrey @kennybastani @mstine
Guys: I can’t tell you how motivating it is to be asked to give guidance.
You want to empower women? Next opportunity you get, tell a woman you work with, “you seem to know a lot about ___. Could you give me some guidance on this thing?”
That’s the “inclusion” in D&I
You want to empower women? Next opportunity you get, tell a woman you work with, “you seem to know a lot about ___. Could you give me some guidance on this thing?”
That’s the “inclusion” in D&I
