Depressed at our hopeless leaders in the UK and the US? Terrified by their lack of leadership and spine? Do you suspect that we live in the worst of times? Look, I feel you, but things really aren’t that bad. Let me introduce you to some truly awful, useless monarchs… THREAD! /1 
Elagabalus (203 - 222), Emperor of Rome, was, to put it mildly, a free spirit. He tried to popularize worship of the sun - that itself was controversial. It was probably tales turning the Imperial Palace into a brothel, & marrying vestal virgins that really made him unpopular. /2
Simply, the Praetorian Guard preferred anyone else but him, and when he and his cousin Severus visited the troops, they cheered for Severus. When Elagabalus objected, both he and his mother were hacked to pieces, and their remains chucked in the Tiber. /3
William II of England (1056 – 1100) was just terrible. Son of William I, ‘The Conqueror’, he didn’t have nearly the charisma of his father & spent swathes of his reign suppressing rebellions. He also picked fights with the Church, something that history shows is a bad idea. /4
One fine day in 1100, William and some nobles went riding, ostensibly for a hunt, During the hunt, however, William was shot and killed by an arrow. Some historians think it was an accident, others think it was an assassination. Either way, the dude wasn’t missed by anyone. 5/
Gertrude of Merania (1185 - 1213) was married to Andrew, King of Hungary. Since her husband was often away seeing off some threat, Gertrude acted as regent. During this time, she started gifting various parts of the kingdom to German relatives - something that enraged nobles. /6
Gertrude went hunting one day in 1213, she went on a hunt with some of the same nobles. Pretty terrible situational awareness, Gertrude. She ended up torn to pieces. Her husband doesn’t seem to have been too upset - he remarried soon after. /7
Henry VI of England (1421 - 1471), the son of the superstar war hero, Henry V, suffered from mental illness throughout his life. He spent much of his reign in religious mania, a catatonic stupor, or in the memorable case of the second Battle of St Albans, singing a merry tune. /8
Henry VI had his brains dashed out in May 1471 in the Tower of London. Richard, Duke of York, probably ordered the killing. After his death, he gained the reputation of a saint - something that he never experienced during his life. /9
Eric XIV of Sweden (1533 -1577) started out well, but something happened to make him to snap. He became utterly paranoid, sentencing many nobles to death for supposed treason - including several of the Sture family. One, he killed himself. People were being offed everywhere. /10
The following year, the Swedish nobility had enough of his paranoid behaviour (especially the murdering folks himself part) and had him deposed. He spent the rest of his life being moved from castle to castle before being poisoned with a bowl of pea soup. /11
Rudolf II (1552 -1612), Holy Roman Emperor, was way too far in his own head. He spent the majority of reign, having moved the imperial capital to Prague, collecting weird trinkets & pestering ‘magicians’ to show him tricks. Generally he ignored what was going on around him. /12
Unfortunately, what was going on around him was the lead up to the Thirty Years War, one of the most devastating in European history. His inconsistency regarding Bohemian Protestants led to the beginning of hostilities. He was deposed by his young brother. /13
Charles II of Spain (1661 - 1700) was so enfeebled by centuries of breeding within the Habsburg line that he was functionally unable to rule. He could barely speak, was weak & needed help walking, and was infertile - not that anybody was exactly gagging for an heir from him. /14
Charles II actually ‘reigned’ until he died at the age of 39, although it was really his court that was giving the appearance of a functional monarchy. Following his death, the war of the Spanish Succession broke out, a conflict that would have severe knock-on effects. /15
Peter III of Russia (1728 - 1762) was immature, mean, petty, a drunk and obsessed with playing soldier, whether by making everyone around him wear silly uniforms, or actually playing with toy soldiers. He riled many, even if he did make the odd reform to Russian society. /16
Eventually, his wife Catherine had enough of his toy soldiers and silly requests, and had him deposed, taken away from prying eyes, where he was subsequently poisoned AND strangled, just to make sure. Catherine? Well, she went on to earn the nickname, ‘The Great’. /17
Christian VII of Denmark (1749 – 1808) was a wanker. Quite literally. Couldn’t keep his hand off it. Worried everyone. Got it out in public. Couldn’t rule, couldn’t lead, heavily, heavily leaned on his advisors to do the actual work, while went and played pocket billiards. /18
In 1770 Christian was deposed by his doctor, who acted as a kind of regent for the next couple of years, until a coup removed him from power and the doctor was executed. Trust me, that’s a whole other story in itself - it’s been turned into a couple of films and novels! /19
Ludwig II of Bavaria (1864 - 1886) gets eulogized lots as a dreamer and a fairytale prince. Yet it cannot be ignored that he frequently broke with reality and alarmed many with the building of his fairytale castles, such as Neuschwanstein. /20
Alarmed at his behaviour, Ludwig was deposed in June, 1886, and taken away for treatment, as many thought him insane. Days later, he was found dead in Lake Starnberg, along with his doctor. His successor, Otto, was also considered insane, and a regent was appointed. /21
So really, things aren't that bad. Apart from the Nukes. And the Nazis. And the climate change.
Oh well.
At least we choose them these days? /FIN
Oh well.
At least we choose them these days? /FIN
PS. SEVERAL OF THESE GUYS ARE RELATED.
