Thread by @ajeromorgan

Cutting the Apron Strings!!!

If you are married and you or your spouse seem to be overly dependent on your parents or outsiders for emotional or decision-making needs, you may need to read this thread & RT💕

1./ As an adult, you may have enjoyed few rewards for indulging in the act of always turning to your parents to discuss your marriage, but that’s only healthy if you don’t overdo things or when you don’t do it to spite or undo your spouse.

2./ Parents usually want the best for their children even after they are married. And given the opportunity, they’ll invade any available space to advise you on what to do in your marriage. But it’s tricky and the lines are very thin.

4./ Expecting your parents to referee your marital conflicts isn't realistic or wise. It would be hard for them to be objective about your marriage because you’re their child. In fact they "love you too much" to let you go work things out alone with your spouse.

5./ Reasons ranging from a lack of trust in your spouse's ability to make unbiased or meaningful contributions, your upbringing or other learned behaviors we pick as we grow, can contribute to this behavior but we can commit today to cutting the Apron Strings from our parents.

6./ If your spouse is inadequate in making meaningful contributions, lovingly communicate your concern & do your best to bring them up to speed. If they fail in trying to catch up on your speed (i.e how you reason or see things) be mature to exercise patience so they can catch up

7./ If your attitude is affecting your spouse's ability to contribute or confide in you, then find a way to reassure them of your commitment to them in terms of their emotional needs as well as help them regain confidence in their ability to make decisions for the family.

8./ If your upbringing is the problem, then you need to reset your priorities. Marriage demands that you “leave & cleave" though not to suggest that children & parents should cut off their relationship. But your primary human relationship now is with your spouse, not your parents

9./ Your commitment to God comes first; then your bond to your spouse is second, then to any children you might have, then to your father's house, then to your spiritual or extended family and friends.

10./ If your parents are the overbearing type, you've to find a way to respectfully voice your displeasure about the encroachments. Or you may subtly refrain from sharing your marital conflicts with them & only explain this decision if it's become very necessary. That's maturity

11./ Finally, if both of you agree to go & confront either parents about their encroachment in your affairs, let each of you speak to his/her own parent while the other just sit & watch. Do all these prayerfully & if it’s not working as expected, you may need to see a counselor

3./ Giving anyone the impression that they're at liberty to come in anytime to steer your ship for you, exposes your marriage to an impending wreck. Using attitude, inform all stakeholders that unsolicited invasions are unacceptable except of course in the case of “emergencies "

3./ Giving anyone the impression that they're at liberty to come in anytime to steer your ship for you, exposes your marriage to an impending wreck. Using attitude, inform all stakeholders that unsolicited invasions are unacceptable except of course in the case of “emergencies "