Ethan Allen. How did a dude who was basically a crazed religious land pirate get remembered as this upstanding father of the American revolution?
Obvs I'm gonna tell yu
Like, it doesn't start out good for him. He's born on Connecticut. Bad
Yeah, it happens to the best of us
So. You know. This dude's a fucking nutter.
There's other signs too. Like. His first run-ins with the law, involving pigs. And smallpox. He acts as his own lawyer
Well, they don't like NY officials coming through and regulating things. Ticks them right off
and Seth and Remember are like "yeah we'll help" and so they become land pirates
The egomaniacs argue and then finally agree
Doesn't matter tho, there's 12 dudes. They surrender. SO MANY CANNON AND MUCH POWDER. so that's wicked cool
Then they invade Canada and try to take Montreal.
NOPE NOT EASY. Allen gets his ass captured because he tries to take Montreal w 100 men
Shit they don't like to talk about.
Luckily for Allen, the war ends, Vermont becomes 14th state, and they're like "dude you're an embarrassment, just walk off"
Then he dies in 1789 of an apoplectic fit
His greatest legacy is a furniture company
Which is fucking hilarious
It is actually sad
Just like how my G&T is empty
UNIVERSE, BRING ME MOAR GIN
this isn't working