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, 5 tweets, 1 min read
I don’t mean to generalise but all these boys named Femi, what kind of clay did God create your esophagus from?

I just got off the phone with one Whose call I haven’t picked in almost a year. Today, he calls me with an unknown number.
Femi: Where are you going? Who’re you chatting with on the phone that you’re pouting and smiling like that?

I look around me, I’m in traffic on Ozumba Mbadiwe.

Femi: I’m behind you.

I turn around,I see his car behind me.

Femi: Ahn ahn. Wo bo se fine. I swear this is destiny.
Me: [Smiling and shaking my head] What is destiny?

Femi: Seeing you in traffic now, it’s destiny, olohun.

Me: Your destiny is with your wife uncle, don’t stress me.

Femi: I create my own destiny. If I want my destiny to be with you, it will be with you. I’m following you o.
Truly, his car is tailing mine even as I turn into Oniru.

Me: Please don’t do that, don’t you have somewhere to be?

Femi: I have somewhere to be o, your heart, just lead me there. I can’t seem to find my way.

Ahhhhhhh. I disconnect the call.
All the FEMIS of the world, may God heal your oesophagus, it is filled with lies and lines.

God “safe” us.

#DANG
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More from @diaryofa9jagirl see all

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Ìfẹ́
@diaryofa9jagirl
Someone from my past just resurfaced. Said he didn’t find me on “FB”so he got my number from an old classmate.

Why people can’t leave the past behind and move on with life will always befuddle me.

This same uncle that I dodged all through Uni because of his wickedness.

#thread
We shall name this uncle Abetiaja, Abeti for short.

It was when I was in 100 level first semester in the university, I can’t recollect how Abeti began to ask me out but he went all out. One day, I was alone at home, my two roomies, Lola and Tolu had travelled to Lagos.
As a 100L student that was being actively courted by a 400-level student, I kinda felt special. Plus, Abeti had a car. If you ever studied at Olabisi Onabanjo University, you’d understand the importance of knowing at least one person who drove a car in school.
Read 11 tweets
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Ìfẹ́
@diaryofa9jagirl
Dear South Africans, When you throw jabs at Nigerians, talking about “if your country was so good why would you migrate to S.A?” remember this:

The reason South Africa is where it is today is not because of black South Africa. Most Black South Africans are angry, unforgiving
frustrated and mentally repressed people. Nigeria has come this far by ourselves, imagine if we had a functioning government? But you? You would turn on yourselves if all foreigners left your country because that anger that’s simmering deep inside you needs to be let out.
God has blessed Nigerians with one great thing, Joy in our hearts. Maybe because we didn’t go through half of what you did so there’s no foundation for a simmering volcano covered by a mountain, splashing lava where it can because there’s no space to erupt.
Read 8 tweets
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diaryofanaijagirl.ng
@DANGposts
THE BUSY COBBLER.

There was a cobbler who lived in a big village. As he was the only cobbler in town, everyone went to him to get their footwear repaired. He was so busy that he didn’t have time to repair his own boots. This wasn’t a problem at first,
but, as time went on, his boots began to wear off and fall apart. While he worked feverishly on everyone else’s shoes, his feet got blisters and he started to limp. His customers started to worry about him, but he reassured them that everything was alright.
However, after a few years, the cobbler’s feet were so injured that he could no longer work, and nobody’s footwear got repaired. As a result, the entire town started to limp in pain all because the cobbler never took time to repair his own boots.
Read 4 tweets

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Travis Jackson
@travisdon1981
Is #Jesus a #mythical figure based on the #Greek #god Adonis?
Um, #NO, and here is why (#Updated and #Expanded):
Adonis was the son of princess Myrrha and King Cinyras (more on them later). A mortal beloved by both Persephone and Aphrodite, he became the center of a nasty love triangle. Zeus intervened, saying that he should spend 4 months of the year with Persephone, 4 months of the year
with Aphrodite, and could do anything he wanted during the remaining 4 months of the year. Adonis chose to stay the last 4 months with Aphrodite (no doubt to the chagrin of Persephone. Having said that, Hades, Persephone’s husband, would have approved).
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Travis Jackson
@travisdon1981
Was #Jesus a #mythical figure based on the #Sumerian #god #Dumuzi and the Babylonian god #Tammuz?
Um, #No, and here is why.
Dumuzi was the Sumerian god of Shepherds, the underworld and vegetation (though as we are about to see, he wasn’t really much of a god…). He was married (some sources say just a lover) of the goddess Inanna. He is identified with the Babylonian god Tammuz, whose tales share many
a similarity with that of Dumuzi. (though there are interesting differences). He was classed as one of the so-called “dying and Rising” gods of antiquity, though the “Dying and Rising” category has fallen out of academic favor.
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JMHendersonSr❌
@JMHendersonSr
#mandateofheaven: #God says #PatRobertson doesn't speak for him.

#Kurds
#Turkey
#Trump
#Troops
#God says #PatRobertson's hateful derogation children is particularly disturbing to Him.
#God mentioned #PatRobertson's comments about impoverished children of #Appalachia and victims of #forcedabortion in #China.
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Paul W. Hankins
@PaulWHankins
A student who will be new to AP next year stopped me to tell me she was "not a good student." This sparked an interest within me as I always want to know what is behind a student's value statement and how they have come to a notion like this.
First, I told her that there a number of "not very good students" who take college courses every year, but I was very interested in what made her think that she was "not a good student." And, then, she made me take a deep breath when she said, "Because I don't believe in myself."
And, I thought. . .there are two days of school left. What I say right now not only sets the tone for how we enter into the summer but how we enter into a challenging new course for the student in August. This is what we do friends. We must think fast. And we must think "move."
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christa lee
@OhPoorPup
Hey everyone. Today, Bandcamp is donating their share of all sales to the Voting Rights Project. If you haven't picked up my music yet, today is a great day to do so!!!! Ohpoorpup.bandcamp.com
Going to post some of my favorite Bandcamp albums of the year!

First up, Owane - yeah whatever:

Jazz Fusion with a prog-metal flair, for any fans of Return to Forever, SEGA Music, Joy and Happiness:

owane.bandcamp.com/album/yeah-wha…
Kate NV - для FOR:

Moscow-based experimental electronic music, shades of James Ferraro, Hiroshi Yoshimura, New Age Ambient here. Magnificent.

katenv.bandcamp.com/album/for
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Momo ✌️
@Momopichu
Before I lose the idea. R76 and wax museum challenge.
I'm thinking Jack as a journalist, challenged to do the "one night in a wax museum" thing. (Since he lost a bet in his journalist company).

His boss wants a segment of his experience or something so Jack takes a vid camera, sleeping bag, notebooks and some necessities
His bet requires him to set up in the 'murderers' section for maximum fear factor and what not. Jack admits he's a little scared cause everything looks so real.

One of the statues is a guy called Gabriel Reyes. The story was that he murdered people around the city.
Read 268 tweets

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