Thread by @NiceConvos

And so it is Christmas.
Some thoughts about the lessons history teaches, the othering of people and my nana's life. With a side order of xenophobia and a bitter future ahead for a UK, which doesn't learn from the past. From this German new Scot.

This will be the 2nd Christmas after my nana's death. She liked Christmas, I don't, never have. I am very much not religious, but I only realised how much her beliefs mattered to my nana in the last few years and then the last week of her life. And why Christmas mattered to her.

Growing up, I never remembered my nana as a particularly religious person. Officially she was Protestant, and in her last few years she enjoyed getting the local church newsletter and sometimes watched services on TV. She preferred the Catholic hospital over the Protestant one.

She taught her children manners and values. Some were baptised, some weren't. Mainly due to when they were born and if the family had enough money at that time to afford it or not. Again, no overly religious upbringing though. One thing she was strict on: be happy & be kind.

She didn't care what religion (or none) someone else practiced. Some of her children married people from other religions, be it Catholic or Muslim, none of that ever mattered to her. As long as people were happy & kind. When others criticised that, she became fiercely protective.

She didn't care who people loved. She didn't care about skin colour or race. About ability or health. She was all about the humans and treating everyone at face value. She was one of the kindest persons I ever met. And I only learned much later why.

She didn't speak about her beliefs. She didn't speak about her religion. Every now and then she let something slip, that it didn't matter which church and where she went or if she didn't go to church. When younger, I interpreted it as her not caring or simply not being religious.

I didn't grow up religious at all, so to that child in me, her being so neutral kinda made sense and I never questioned it. Why would I? When I grew up, friends went through different types of religious stages in life and curious me wanted to learn more about different religions.

I researched a lot, talked to lots of different people, visited places, read books and also spoke to my nana. I never found a religion that felt right for me in that phase, if anything, it probably made me more of an atheist. But I also respected anyone's right to their beliefs.

My nana kept saying it didn't matter if I chose a religion or not, many of them were similar and what really mattered was what kind of a person you were. She said some people needed religion for it. Others didn't. And both were fine. Again, no judgement from her, just kindness.

Small related diversion of subject. My last name is not German. It doesn't sound or feel German. And most Germans have always misspelt it. When I was around 10, my nana explained to me that it was due to our name being changed, before she was born, to make it look more German.

My nana was a child growing up during the second world war. She was the oldest of her siblings and lost her childhood there. She had to find food for the family, alone. And no, as far as I am aware, we don't have any Jewish roots anywhere. And this is where it all comes together.

Many years before the rise of the Nazis and the starts of the first and second world wars, my family changed their name to make it look more normal for the country where they lived. They originally moved for work and settled. But they were always foreign, for generations.

So their name was now more German. They lived and worked. They had their religion, which to my understanding was one of the smaller protestant ones. Different enough to make them stand out as something else. They kept that religion going. And it was ok.

Until the second world war. And then, that child, my nana, oldest sibling, responsible to find food for the whole family, was taught that in order to survive, she was never again to mention what her religion was. Never again to show it. Never to give herself away as other.

Because being something that was different, something people could recognise as being "other", had become dangerous, my nana, the child, tried to be neutral. Two family members joined the Nazis, to be one of them & not one of the others. Some fought them. Most tried to just live.

My nana survived the war. Not everyone in the family did. And most were broken by it. They were very poor. My nana hated the ones who joined the Nazis and tried to avoid them. But they were often the only ones with access to food. Potatoes to feed the family sometimes won.

She told me much later, she often felt like she lost her soul as a child. And with all I know now, she meant it in more than one way. Several times she only barely escaped. She was almost shot in the head but the pistol failed. The Nazi laughed and she ran. She was a child.

She never forgot any of those lessons in life. She never lived her religion again. And she never allowed any of her children or grandchildren to show hate for anyone, because of religion, race, sexual orientation or any stupid details that don't matter. Just be happy and be kind.

The rise of the right wing parties across the world worried her in her last few years. She was fiercely pro EU, as the EU secured peace and she knew how important that was.
I am happy that my nana died before this Brexit turned into this extremely xenophobic Tory version.

Before she died, she was happy. She was also happy for me that I was happy in Scotland and had found my home here. She wanted to come visit me, but sadly never made it. And I am so glad, that she died before I had to tell her that now I am that "other" person here in my home.

Because the othering of people is a long slow process.
It didn't start yesterday. The Tories, Ukip, the Brexit party and not to forget the rightwing media have been telling people about us, foreigners, migrants, immigrants, "others", for years.

We are at fault. We are the ones who don't belong. We are different. We look different. We sound different. Our names are different. Our religions are different. We are "other" to them. And that's all that's wrong. That is the xenophobic message of othering.

And I realise that history is repeating itself. The othering of people in World War two did not start with the Nazis and was not only about Jews. It didn't even start then, but many years before, when being other became something bad. And that's where we are again now.

Will we learn from history? Or will my nana's history, my family's history over generations just repeat itself again? I feel welcome and wanted in Scotland, but the people in charge see me as that other person. And it isn't just me. It's anyone they don't like.
Merry Christmas.

Oh and before people ask my nana would have celebrated Christmas today, on the 24th. To her that was part of her religion which she never again openly showed or lived. But on Christmas, she felt she got away with it, because everyone celebrates Christmas. Her one day of the year.