I agree that there's such a thing as Toxic Masculinity (Heck it's everywhere). And there's such a thing as Toxic Femininity, too. If you've not heard about this, or you don't know what it looks like, here are a few ways toxic Femininity manifests itself. A thread.
1. When you make a move on a guy, either for a relationship or for sex, and he politely declines, and then you start to get mad because he should have felt lucky because you, an attractive girl and all, wooed him.
2. When you encourage men to "take a cue" from your "sign languages". Be equally expressive and unequivocal with your cravings. We have fought so hard to educate people about consent. Don't blur the lines.
3. When you are always tempted to call a man broke, in a condescending way, especially when you're not earning higher than him. The fact that men are expected by default to earn more and take care of more responsibilities is by itself a product of patriarchy.
4. When you grope a male friend you're not in a romantic relationship with, or kiss him out of nothing, or make lewd sexual comments about him or his body, without expecting him to be offended because "men should be grateful or feel lucky" for getting hit on by a girl.
5. When you expect, on default, any form of material compensation for having sex with a man (unless it is established that you're a sex worker), be it in form of cash or any other benefits, simply because you think you're a lady and you're doing the guy a favour by fucking him.
6. When you take people for granted, flippantly disregarding etiquettes like timing and appointments and you expect them to accept it, simply because you're a woman and men should always wait.
7. When you hit a man and don't expect him to respond because he should be the bigger man. It's not cute when during an argument with your partner you start to hit him or throw things at him just because you know you will get away with it and no one will shout domestic violence.
8. When you have an altercation with a man and you take advantage of your perceived weakness as a woman to gain public empathy, that is a toxic trait. You cannot do this and turn around to tell everyone not to regard you as a weaker vessel. You are encouraging chivalry.
9. When during an altercation you insult a man by saying "see as you dey do like woman", because that is you admitting that "doing like woman" is something so terrible that one has to be ashamed of.
10. When you weaponize your vulnerability to lie about a sexual abuse that didn't happen to gain an advantage over someone you don't like.
They go on and on and on. While I regard myself as a strong advocate of gender equality in every sphere possible, and I admit that there is such a thing as toxic masculinity, I want to quickly emphasise that the fight to equal both genders will be a farce if women by themselves—
—don't rid themselves of toxic femininity. But of course this is merely a strong opinion of mine and I absolutely welcome dissenting opinions civilly expressed. Happy New Year and follow. I follow back.
