Does reality get on your nerves? Do you sometimes wish there was nothing at all? Then this is the thread for you! Read on, and I'll show you how to prune your ontology down to nothing. It's easy and won't harm anyone or anything. Ready? /1
Let's start by clearing out the attic. We'll get rid of abstract objects and universals (plato.stanford.edu/entries/nomina…), together with mathematical objects and structures (plato.stanford.edu/entries/nomina…). /2
We'll get rid of possible worlds too -- the actual one is more than enough! (plato.stanford.edu/entries/fictio…) /3
And we don't need God, do we? (plato.stanford.edu/entries/atheis…). In fact, let's do away with everything supernatural while we're at it (plato.stanford.edu/entries/natura…). /4
It's already feeling less stuffy! But we need to live more in the moment. We'll let go of the past -- and the future with it. Only the present moment exists (plato.stanford.edu/entries/presen…). /5
We've made some progress. But scientists keep cluttering the place up with things we can't even see. We'll put a stop to that! We'll be scientific ant-realists (plato.stanford.edu/entries/scient…). /6
That feels better But there's still an awful lot left. There this vast universe out there with its billions of galaxies each full of billions of stars. It's too much. I know! We'll be idealists. /7
But what sort of idealists? We could be transcendental idealists -- sweep it all under the noumenal carpet and focus on our representations (plato.stanford.edu/entries/kant-t…). But it would all still be there, taunting us with its unknowable reality. /8
No, let's do it properly and be empirical idealists, like Berkeley. There's no material universe at all; it's all just ideas in our minds (plato.stanford.edu/entries/berkel…). /9
Now we're getting somewhere! What have we got left? Just our minds and our ideas and the present moment. But it still feels crowded. There billions of these minds hanging around, each with its own set of ideas. /10
Solipsism's what we need. The strong metaphysical kind. There's just this one mind and one set of ideas (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solipsism). /11
That's better. No abstractions, no time, no space, no matter, no other minds, just the momentary existence of this self and its ideas. In fact, let's get rid of the self, too (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anatta). /12
We're nearly there. All that's left is this momentary bundle of thoughts and perceptions. Nothing exists beyond this mental moment right here and now. Shall we do it? Shall we annihilate the whole of reality? /13
Ready? Get somewhere quiet. Close your eyes. Block your ears. Now, breathe gently, and
let
your
mind
go
blank.
/End
let
your
mind
go
blank.
/End
antI-realists. The ants can stay. For now.
