Read this. I want to make some observations about these kinds of stories. I have long experience with Christian leadership that disappoints or abuses in more intimate church & community settings. christianitytoday.com/news/2020/febr… via @CTmagazine
@CTmagazine I always liked @STimmis book Total Church, and thought it described missional communities that lived more vibrantly than your average evangelical “show up on Sunday and watch a screen.” Closer relationships and strong sense of gospel mission. I was raised on this kind of ministry
@CTmagazine @STimmis Yet if mega-churches create Pastors-As-Celebrities with shiny teeth and huge Twitter crowds, smaller missional communities can create Pastor-As-Patriarch, with soft voices and emotionally-charged living rooms.
@CTmagazine @STimmis This kind of more intimate leadership and unusually-close community can be deep healing in a world where we need the Good News of God as good parent and Home as belonging to the Kingdom. It’s healed me.
@CTmagazine @STimmis I’ve considered some church members closer than family, sharing lives and lawnmowers. I think there’s reason to love the church as oikos/household of the NT.
@CTmagazine @STimmis So how is it that I’ve seen leadership abuse appear an unusual number of times in these closer missional church communities? Here’s like 5 reasons:
@CTmagazine @STimmis Pastors of tight communities pastor with one-on-one conversations in kitchens and emotional resonance. People become vulnerable and experience real change. They take the shared vision into their own identity.
@CTmagazine @STimmis Yet 1) it takes folks a while to see the real power-distance. It's hard to detect without exec. secretaries and jumbotrons. But the Pastor-As-Patriarch—who feels like a close friend— can assert authority in disconcerting places. They don't notice bc it feels the same to them.
@CTmagazine @STimmis 2)Pastor-As-Patriarch’s feel are creating a family of shared values. When fam-members listen to outside sermons, participate with other ministries—this feels like a threat to the “something special” the church has. Other churches are "lukewarm." The emotional becomes theological.
@CTmagazine @STimmis 3) We’ll say the worst things to those we are closest to. Familiarity breeds... Pastors-as-Patriarchs lose a natural politeness guard on their words with those in their family-congregation.
@CTmagazine @STimmis 4) This also makes it very hard for outsiders to see the abuse, because the Pastor-As-Patriarch person outward-facing persona is often kind and well-regarded by those in the "acquaintance circle"
@CTmagazine @STimmis 5) Because Pastor-As-Patriarch represents the church family itself, it’s hard for family members to see clearly what’s happening. And to be negative feels like a danger to the own community they need and love so much. So people remain quiet or don’t believe their own feelings.
@CTmagazine @STimmis bonus 6) Pastors-As-Patriarchs often talk as if they have good accountability with other pastors, but again, often their actual behavior is only seen by those closest, not by pastors "in network" who will circle up to defend they guy they see at leaders retreats only
@CTmagazine @STimmis The quotes from 15 @Acts29 members in @CTmagazine article accurately match past patterns I've seen, including ambivalence on pastor. Like many abusive parents, we love them & can list the good alongside the bad. It makes us crazy and unsure which narrative is true. (answer: both)
@CTmagazine @STimmis @Acts29 Great job reporting @kateshellnutt at @CTmagazine. *disclaimer I don't know Steve Timmis, I'm commenting on the similarities I see in this story and other's I've personally coached through or experienced. I *did* previously work with Acts29, but that was a number of years ago.
