He would call all his customers in the market ahead
He would make his orders
Meat, pepper, palm oil, vegetables, gaari, yam flour & so on
He would by noodles, beverages, cereals, milk, lunch pack drinks for his children and toiletries for his wife and family
He dedicated a whole day to this activity
When he got home, he would get into the kitchen
He would cook beans, vegetable soup, stew, fish stew and so on!
He would pack everything in small take away packs and stock them in the freezer!
Whenever the family wanted to eat, all they had to do was boil rice or make gaari, bring out a pack and warm it in
Then they will have their lunch or dinner!
He would then proceed to the filling station and buy 100 liters of fuel for the generator at home for the month!
Once that was done, he would drop twenty thousand Naira on the shelf in the sitting room, always in 500 Naira
The money was meant for whatever might come up as a need in the course of the month which he had not covered in his budget!
He would subscribe for the family internet, Cable tv and electricity bill and other bills!
Once he was done, he would resume his normal life!
He woke up at 6am, prepares for work, drops his children in school by 7:25am, gets to his office at 7:50am
He closes from his office at the ministry of lands by 5pm, he drives to a nearby hotel to relax
He drinks, he smokes, he controls young girls via
He does not sleep with any girl twice and he sleeps with an average of twenty girls in the hotel every month!
His nickname was “ID slaughter”, in reference to his expertise at “slaughtering” teenagers and nubile ladies in their early
His father was once a permanent secretary
He was brought up in wealth
He drives a very good car and he is involved in a lot of property runs within the ministry that brings him extra-income!
He leaves the hotel at about 9:30 pm
He drives home and sleeps until the next
The routine starts all over
His wife came crying for help
She has practically become a prop in the home
He simply rendered her irrelevant and pursued his own lifestyle without a second thought
She wanted her home back and she didn’t know how to get it!
She needed help!
He was once a dedicated husband who loved her with all his heart
She was a beauty queen in the university when they met
He courted her with respect and broke off all his other relationships for her
He proposed with tears in his eyes
It was love
She took him for granted
It felt to her as if she could have done better than him
She felt she should have waited for someone richer, someone with a better surname!
So even though they were married, she was extremely independent and
He did everything in his power to convince her of his love
She just wasn’t ready
He would go off to work and return by 6pm
She would sleep and watch TV all day
She had friends with whom she went clubbing and so on
She just found herself in a place she felt she didn’t want to be
He complained
He told her parents
He told their pastor
This wasn’t what he bargained for
This wasn’t even close to being considerate
She treated him like shit
When she got pregnant, it got
She hated him for getting her pregnant
She hated herself for getting pregnant
She treathened to kill herself several times
He begged and pleaded
After she delivered the children
A set of twins she forbade him from touching her
She just didn’t want to see him anymore!
They were not bearing her name
She just wanted to get back in shape and get her life back
His mother came around and took care of the children
When they were six months old, he got a two nannies and one house help
Somehow he adapted to his new
She didn’t care at first
She really didn’t know what he was up to
Until she saw condoms in his wallet
She accused him of cheating on her
He just laughed
She had not slept with him in two years
They had virtually become strangers
He was 35
She was 33
They had been married
She got a job
Her friends started getting married one by one
Those who didn’t get married move on to the next phases of their lives
She was stuck in a marriage she thought she didn’t want
Suddenly she wanted the marriage but all the dynamics have changed!
She was
Even her children do not treat her as other children treat their mothers
All her moves were clouded by suspicion
She wanted to right the wrongs
She wanted him to give her a second chance
She said “This is not the man I married, he is under a spell”
This is not always the case!
The heart is a fragile place, once it locks on the wrong target, it will result in friendly fire and a lot of casualties!
I approached him at that market on a Saturday
His wife had told me his routine
I stood by his car until he returned with his “bagco sacks” fully loaded!
I introduced myself and asked if we could see later in the week
He was quite nice
He gave me his card
I met him on a tuesday
We talked for a long time
He had gone
He said the only reason he didn’t get a divorce was because his late father, in his will, stated it clearly that if any of his sons (his father had five boys) initiated divorce against his spouse, such should be cut off
But if the divorce is initiated by the spouse, then such a son can keep his inheritance!
He had been waiting for her to get tired and move out or sue him for divorce!
That was all he wanted
She was the definition of hell to him!
He said she got him arrested
When he didn’t she labeled him a spineless wimp!
He said a lot!
Too much!
That was day 1
By day 11, they were seating across tables again
She begged him to let her start cooking for him
She said if he would resume his routine of returning home by 6pm, she guarantees there would be food on the table and a welcoming arm!
It was a
She weaned him off the street
Gradually he got back to his old routine and eventually she started doing the shopping and minding her home!
It took 18 months to set that home!
Please learn how to cook
Please learn how to keep a home
It might one day save your marriage